The Rarest Species of Them All?
The Gay Transvestite
I love being with a man, and I still hope to find one that I can call mine someday. That man could be bi or gay, or one helluva open-minded straight guy! But I love whatever is original-factory-equipped on my body and have absolutely no problems with having fully working parts. I’d like to get implants someday after I settle down with someone. But I love being with a man and putting on a dress supercharges that feeling even more so. The act of behaving girly and being a man’s steady girl, looking after each other in every way (not just a sexual thing), is a peachy idea that I’ve done some time ago, but it still gets me dreaming. Since I only do what girls do behind closed doors as well, everything fits neatly into place.
In doing research to be an upcoming guest speaker at a New York college, I have been reading up on books regarding the transgender, transsexual, tranvestite, crossdresser lifestyles. The communities involving the latter two categories are glaringly exclusive to heterosexual people. Books such as “My Husband Wears My Clothes” “My Wife Betty” focus more on the heterosexual crossdresser, and tend to dump everything else into the “not us” category.
Transgender groups, while attempting to be inclusive, have veered a little towards the hormone, SRS-destined individuals. Certainly they have many difficulties ahead of them, and need all the support they can get.
I have often been told that crossdressers are the domain of heterosexual practitioners, although the latency beneath the desire to dress is opened to contention, and perhaps – to their wives – better kept under the rug. Some things in life are better left unexamined, especially when its worth is open to debate.
The group that suffers the most, are the gay transvestites. I googled the two words together and came up with only my website and my friend Richard Evans Lee’s Edifying Spectacle. Members of the Yahoo Group of the same name, have somtimes questioned whether a terminology such as “gay transvestites” can even be logically possible. (It can) But the label is categorically a no-man’s land, where male homosexuals lump transvestites/crossdressers with heterosexuals, and the crossdressing crowd do all they can to put as much distance between themselves and whatever is “not us.”
I consider myself a gay transvestite. I love to be with a man, and still hope to find one I can call mine someday. I love whatever is original-factory-equipped on my body and have absolutely no problems with having fully working parts. I’d like to get implants someday after I settle down with someone. But I love being with a man and putting on a dress supercharges that feeling even more so. Since I only do what girls do in sexual positions, everything fits neatly into place.
I personally think calling oneself a “gay transvestite” is a grand idea. You won’t get far in society by doing so, but the hard truth rarely gets you places in this world. Still, I believe it is a celebration in it’s stark self-descriptive honesty. It’s a no-holds barred what-you-see-is-what-you-get approach, much like banging one’s head against the monitor to get to the real world. If I wanted to be with a man (I do), I would most definitely not marry a woman. That would be like wanting to eat alfredo fettucine, then going and joining weight-watchers.
No wait. Bad analogy.
I think there are infinitely more dimensions of prejudism facing anyone who choses to call himself a “gay transvestite.” Assimilated gay men often mistaken transvestites as closeted homosexuals who don’t have what it takes to come out, so they dress in women’s clothes to have sex with other men, giving the illusion of heterosexuality. Crossdressers, feeling the fervent need to establish heterosexual orthodoxy will be the first to dissociate themselves with the gay transvestite. So we are kinda stuck in the middle. We are certainly in great shortage of support. So I am creating an additional category here for all gay transvestites from anywhere in the world, but especially in the New York / New Jersey / Pennsylvania area. Certainly we are not going to repeat the same exclusionary tactics that predecessors have implemented. Anyone is welcomed to join and comment in this forum. As long as you don’t have any qualms with being identified as a homosexual, and a transvestite / crossdresser. (Trust me, there are truths in this world that can hurt you more than being able to colormatch drapes in your Givenchy capped sleeve blouse.)
I hope that we can get enough people to discuss practical problems facing gay transvestites, which I’ll be more than glad to represent and voice on members’ behalf whenever there are discussions in GLBT communities and forums in gay centers or online groups. It is also my hope that I can find members to meet in person (in the New York-New Jersey area), and create a fellowship of sorts. Let me see a show of your interest by joining and commenting.
I have some experience with being a minority in a minority. You would think people who are the victim of so many stereotypes would themselves be sensitive to the problem but they themselves can label you just as easily as some close minded traditionalist bigot.
So if you accept straight boys into your group i’ll be happy to help support you
By the way I think you’ll find there are a fair number of “open-minded straight guys” out there. After all, we are suckers for book smart girls who can write well, have a big heart, and look sexy in short skirts and knee socks
Bye
charlie
thanks charlie.
and sure, anyone who is not afraid of possibly being called “gay” (i have a dozen straight friends who stand by me in public without ever worrying that they might be read as the potential “mate” : that’s how secure one has to be in his “straightness” ) i think it’s only coming to light the notion that gender is a “continuum.” so by the same token, i think sexual preference should be seen as another continuum as well. the whole point of evolution and growing is that one is consistently changing. ideas and perceptions should stay fluid and develop along with an individual’s sense of discovery, exploration, and maturity. it all depends on which point in the timeline each person is willing to come to terms with her or his sexuality.
anyway, you must introduce me to a few of your book smart girls who can write well one of these days!
If you live as a woman with a male partner, have breast implants and sex change surgery you are a heterosexual transgendered woman.
If you live as a woman with a male partner, have breast implants and no sex change surgery you are a gay transvestite.
It’s a weird and wonderful world.
That’s nothing compared to two non-op guys living together as women, but wearing pants.
The closet resigns.
Being from the both sides of the fence (someone who has always been attracted to transgendered people and is a crossdresser as well) I can agree with you. Much to my disappointment, gay transvestites are pretty much unheard of.
Gerald, I can’t imagine why there wouldn’t be more, unless, for a transvestite, there is a stigma attached to being gay. If anything these days, there is more a stigma to a gay person for being trans. Hate to say it. But it’s true. Being a gay transvestite, for me, is the most sensible thing. Because you are armed with two disciplines to deal with the tough, complex lifestyle of being trans.
I’m a bisexual that prefers gay transvestites…I ‘ve never wanted my boyfriends to be women, but I love it when they dress up. I’m skeptical of the entire idea of ‘transgendered’….it’s sort of a invention of the feminist psychotheraphy industry. I prefer to think of effeminate males as ‘femmes’, a category of male homosesxuality that has existed throughout history and in every culture. The radical traditionalist and lesbian aestheticist, Camilia Pagelia wrote that it was a distinct ‘sexual personae’. Wish you were doing more transvestite pictures!
Hi David. Well you are a rare breed. I, and the many gay transvestites out there, wish there were more fellas like you who would come forward. A friend once told me that Paglia called transvestites the shamans of heterosexual culture. And I think it’s fairly accurate. As for the feminist industry, I only filter out the practical aspect of what it fights for. The other fluff – and one gets fluff in every category of ideologies – I’ll just pretend nobody’s on the bandwagon!
I wish I was doing more transvestite pictures too. Last four days of work. After that, I’ll be hiding behind Jehovah Witnesses when they go door knocking for solicitations.
Only difference is I’ll be asking for 8×10 sheet film!
Hi All. I live in the UK and am now out as a Gay TV. I am looking for a man i can look after and call my man and not one to share with all. It’s a great feeling having all the faculties of a man and just love the dressing up part to help the fem role. I considered 8 years ago changing gender and went to Charing Cross Hospital in London and took oestrogen for just over a year but then decided that would not give me the hapiness i yearned for. So i am totally cool with my sexuality and preference for dress. Just need to find Mr Right. Well done on your post. John