Over the weekend, I was hanging out with the boyfriend (which I refer to other friends named Bob as “my Bob”) and I turned to him and asked, “what does it mean when girls call each other skanks?” And he said in a judicious tone: “that would mean they’re jelis cuz the other girl is so much hotter that she rawks ten times harder.”

I never understood why girls put each other down as a secret code for admiration, that jealousy is regarded as the highest form of praise. Whenever people say, “I’m so jealous of you!” (ie. there was a two-for-one sale of pizza and I took the last order before the pizzaria ran out of dough), I never knew I was supposed to be flattered, and instead, I’d shrug, touch their arm and say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it! Honest!”

Either it’s just my lack of cultural sensitivity (ie. Total Lack of Hipness ) or just that my old lady fashion sense is going to my head. When a girl is totally hot, I take the path of least resistance and make the zen utterance: “Wow, the girl is like totally hot.”

And if she sleeps around and has a penchant for 150-man Bukkakes, then I usually add, “and what marvelous ambition!”

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