Here at D332.com, we are committed to alerting our gentle readers of the latest trends in fashion. Although hemlines may go up and down with the Dow Jones Index, we firmly believe there are certain lengths that should stay within the confines of propriety.

Anyone who has ever visited a transvestite bar will know why manufacturers of skirts target this special demographic. The rule of thumb, “take 5 inches off respectable, and then take 3 more inches off that” leaves bolts of fabric unused in the warehouse.

I often wondered why so many straight married men unconsciously associate the term “transvestite” with “free sloppy sex with two bought drinks, no questions asked, to be continued next week same time same place.” Any trans* girls who has ever complained about the difficulties of finding true love need to consult no further than this chart above.

I believe this is a good explanation of why so few men take us seriously when it comes to relationships.

From the bottom up:

New England Spinster – Even Brad Pitt doesn’t get a cursory glance

Talbot’s Customer – Tom Cruise will get thrown out of bed for eating crackers

Corporate Executive – You need to look sexy just so everyone thinks you slept your way to the top and the CEO doesn’t get intimidated that your ambition and ability will replace him in five years.

Actual Schoolgirl – Guys take cold showers just because they thought about looking at you.

Tennis Player – The ball is still in your court.

Working Schoolgirl – Guys take hot soapy baths after looking at you.

Tranny Bar Freebie – Bob Dylan may have written “Girl On Fire” for Edie Sedgwick, but “Blowin’ In The Wind” is all you.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 14th, 2008 at 2:36 pm and is filed under Transgender. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.