Pristine Angie’s Good Homemaker Adventures at www.d332.com

I hate to say it. But transgender/crossdressing/transvestite lifestyles bring gender wars into focus.

Whenever people ask me what all the glamour over being a girl is, I always say, “because it turns me on, and because I like it.” But if I were to speak for the other mtf contingent, I would say this:

A girl dresses as a boy and gets murdered, movies are made, nominations are elected, awards are given.

A boy dresses as a girl, and dozens of us are murdered, beaten, brutalized each year, every month, and what do we get? The Hot Chick, Sorority Boys, White Chicks, To Wong Foo.”

And then I ask, “show me the glamour in being a man”

I have been thinking about this item for a few years.

Back in the day when Yahoo Groups was known as Yahoo Clubs, it was not uncommon for people to come to a club and promote their new club. This still happens in Yahoo Groups, and it certainly happens in Livejournal communities.

One of the greatest culprits of this practice are folks in the trans communities.

Even within a Yahoo group, few people will contribute to the Club Folder when it comes to pictures. Most members will start their own folder, name it their names, and load it up with a dozen pictures. Like pet photographs, only the loving owner will be able to make the distinction between the three dozen pictures they expect you to dote over.

But don’t ever tell them that.

Now back to the groups/clubs/communities. Every other day, someone will show up and announce things like, “Hey guys, I’ve started a new group, it’s called transboisonbananaseatbicycleswithbaskets.”

It’s impossible to tell a culture based on identity issues that struggles of individuality may be at the root of many of their problems. To compound the scenario, our culture is so steeped on the idea of individuality (only as a function of Consumerism) that it’s even more difficult to buy oneself out of a hole: One buys reassignment surgery, hormones, therapy time, electrolysis, makeup, wigs, clothes, language.

Continually diluting the community can only lead to a lack of unity. I understand that certain people may feel they have unique problems, but the essence of a community is perhaps not always for the individual gain. There are many many issues discussed in the transgender community that does not affect me at all, but I’m still interested in seeking possible solutions, empathizing with hardships, and gaining a better understanding of the practical issues at hand.

Here’s what troubles me most though: when us trans-identified people bellyache about not being accepted by the GLB community, I can just hear those guys saying, “you guys can’t even ban together, and you expect to ban with us?”

There is this preoccupation among mtf transvestites and transgender people with physical passing. I think not enough of us pay attention to psychological passing. What do I mean by psychological passing?

The attitude.

I have talked, at length, about bitter queens. I once read a gay advice column where bitter (gay) queens are kindly asked to leave their sarcasm at home where it belongs. We’ve all been through tough times. Nobody’s drama takes priority.

But there is another attitude among mtf transvestites: It’s this, “I spent many hours shaving, putting on makeup, primping, dressing….so you owe me something. At least let me make a bazillion sarcastic remarks, because you don’t know what I’ve had to go through.” I myself mentioned this when I said how odd it is that some tranny chasers ask you to go to them on a first date. Something no one would dare ask of a genetic girl on a first date. Still, I don’t think anyone owes me anything for the hard work it takes to be a girl.

Because let’s face it: Even real girls have to work at being girls. Do you see them openly walking around with a chip on their shoulder for daily upkeep? No. I think the attitude comes from this traditional male attitude: “As long as girls are doing it to please us, it’s ok. But now that I have to do it: I’ll be damned if you won’t have to hear about my inconvenience.”

Ladies. Be wise. Here’s simple advice you will be familiar with.

Keep It Hidden.

A friend talked about Renee Reyes’s website. There is a host of information for beginning T-girls, dressing, diet, picture-taking, FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) about the lifestyle, and tips for educating the tranny chaser.

As a side note, has anyone ever wondered why you guys are always chasing us?

Hint: We’re running away from you for a reason. Unlike the generous Renee, I am not going to tell you that reason. C’mon, I don’t want to be the one that removes the last ounce of mystery and excitement from the chase!

Anyway, here is the website. And really, I’m so glad that there is a page like that out there, because I for one, am wayyyyy too lazy to be telling you all this, especially when someone has already done it. My advice on Self portraits has already left me exhausted. I am certainly no web ingenue, that’s fer sure!

Just remember. Treat advice as advice. Don’t be a cookie-cutter personality: Use it as an informational tool to align your sights and assist your goals. But do not use it as a substitute for a personality, because ultimately, it’s the magnetism and uniqueness of the individual that’s going to make the cut.

Cuz if everyone followed the rules to the letter, punk would be dead and there would only be…uh…Hot Topic.

Renee Reyes’s Website

In my travels around the internet, I once heard a fellow refer to transgender / transvestites as “fake chicks.” Ugh. I thought it couldn’t get worst than the phrase, “but dude, you’re a dude.” But my money’s on “fake chicks.” It can’t get worst than that.

I wonder if anyone has yet discussed the simulacrum inherent in transvestite modes of expression. We all know and implicit understand that the artifice of femininity itself, even when practiced by genetic girls, is a ruse. But when a person emulates a girl, or even on a more severe level, a movie personality who distills all the most desirable (to men anyway, because these personalities were created, historically, within the realm of male-owned industries) qualities of womanhood onscreen, he is twice, or even thrice removed from the day-by-day woman.

I suppose that’s why I steer clear of lip-synching. The practice (popular among T* culture) has only escaped inspection because in the postmodern environment of remakes, it doesn’t seem all that foreign a concept.

The definition of simulacrum (or simulacra) is “an inferior imitation.” Fake chick sounds about as close to inferior as you can get. I say, why settle for a copy? Approach the problem with a synergistic solution, and aim for the skies.

Settle for nothing less than the third sex.

I’ll be honest. Although I help Amazon and Google pick out books that compliment my site, I have not read most of the books on transvestism and transgendered lifestyle. I do know that a movie like Ma Vie En Rose makes me happy, and certainly a book like Holly Brubach’s Girlfriend- which a dear friend made a gift to me many years ago- makes big differences.

So I decided to go online to read other people’s reviews on some of these books that are adorning my website. So what’s the deal with T* people and words anyway? Why do we always write so much about our lifestyle, how we got to where we are, and what we do? Has anyone ever heard of the phrase “methinks you doth protest too loud”?

The miracle of the internet and the world wide web is that whatever brilliant idea we may have… has already been uttered more brilliantly by someone else before. Nevertheless, few T* people seem to have absorbed this. Since the internet operates in the medium of words, it’s ultimately ideas in the form of words that get rehashed and recycled.

I’ve often joked that the difference between a TV and a TG is 56,000 words (as in a thesis).

I personally would like to see affirmative action. Not in the traditional sense of the word, but in affirmative living, and success stories. Forget the words.

Show me how you have successfully survived all these years and still retain a smile.

I was driving around my neighborhood late last evening. I saw a New York City Cab faltering its way through the suburban streets I have known since I was a kid. Gone was the flair and braggadocio of weaving through congested city traffic in a company car with company insurance. Now the yellow cab seems almost vulnerable, uncertain. A turn signal on, a turn signal off. The car went straight. It slowed down, it looked, it made a half right, then turned left.

Sensitivity training was a novel idea in the 90s. Men wore pregnancy counter-weight bags to empathize. Sometimes I wish each and everyone of us could take a metaphorical drive along the outskirts of our comfort zone.

I know I would falter too.

While I call myself a transvestite, I fall under the umbrella of transgender-identified. I want to say it’s all just labels and terminology, and to a great extent it is, but there’s one thing I can’t help noticing: Transgender folk always have many issues to discuss.

Obviously, this comes about because a 24/7 round-the-clock identity is sort after. So among transgender-identified people, there are infinitely more practical issues, choices, concerns, and barriers to deal with, as opposed to the part-time status of the transvestite. I would hate to see a transvestite as an amateur dresser while a transgender has a professional’s concerns, but amateurs do have less to worry about. A transvestite is the shop assistant that doesn’t take her work home with her. At 5:00 sharp, his weekend begins.

So you see, a transgender-identified person is certainly up against more. Let’s not make things any more difficult for them.

All I’m saying is, any side of the coin you are on, don’t forget: Have fun, live life, and have a great 2005!