Pristine Angie’s Good Homemaker Adventures at www.d332.com

Girls, we need your help. Remember the NYC TransProm back in April? Well our committee is planning a Trans* Family Pride event at the New York City Gay center to dovetail with the following NYC Pride weekend . We have female members from trans-men, but are still seeking a more diversified panel, especially needed are family members of trans-women.

An event such as this fosters change by introducing to trans individuals and our community the idea and hope that acceptance is possible. The details are below, but if you need more details or know anyone who would like more information, you can either call Ray at the phone number below, or contact me personally at pristine@d332.com. I’ll be there, and so will many GIP members and staff. The event is free, safe, painless, and quite genial, but most importantly, it will help many trans* people and their family members in the message of affirmation and acceptance. Please help.

Call Ray Carannante at (212) 620-7310 ext. 254

Panel date: Friday, June 16, 6:30 - 9pm

The GIP is putting out a call for your help with our upcoming “Trans Family Pride” event on June 16th. Pride month is a time where we see very few events targeted to the trans communities. This year, the Trans Events Committee wanted to plan an inclusive event as a way to bring more trans community presence to the Center during pride month and as a way to introduce more events and programs that focus on the families of trans individuals.

Sounds wonderful, right? Here’s the problem. The event is three weeks away and we’ve had a difficult time securing panel speakers who are family members of origin, or chosen family members of trans-individuals. The couple of commitments we do have are from female family members of trans-men. We want to diversify and increase our panel numbers. If you are or know of any trans-people in your life who have family members (chosen or original family) who may be willing to speak for 5 or 10 minutes on a panel about the challenges and joys of having a trans family member, and ideally how working through the transgender issues made the relationship better or stronger, we need your help!

We need: moms, dads, brothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, children, etc of trans individuals. We also want chosen family members and want to reach out to families of trans-people of color to ensure that our panel is representative of our whole communities.

We need: to be sure we have some family members of trans-women, being mindful that our culture and families often more harshly punish our trans sisters

If you need any further event details or have any ideas for panelists, PLEASE email me at this address or at ray@gaycenter.org or call me at 212-620-7310, ext 254.

This is a repost of a response I wrote elsewhere on the internet some weeks ago. I have been meaning to post it here on my embattled fort, d332.com. (Friends will know the high drama that has been surrounding my personal life lately, the bane which caused my tardiness here). Online, a person had ruminated upon the apparent absence of deep, lasting friendships among non-op transgender people. Though there will undoubtedly be exceptions in any generalizations, I brought my attention to this observation and wrote the following thoughts:

I have sometimes wondered about the same things. Unfortunately, true friendship is not just a TG problem. It’s a function of time. As people get on in age, they are drawn to other committments, family, personal, and job matters. While it’s true that a man may find more “blood brother” type friends among other men, you also have to take into consideration the nature of a non-op TG identity.

When certain groups of TGs get together with each other, they are defined solely by their T*ness. In other words, if they removed all the wigs, dresses, makeup, perfume, inserts, and girly names, would there still be a reason to have a meeting, a bar night, and an outing? I think there should still be. But that separation to keep one world from colliding into the other, is, I think, the reason why a solid friendship is more difficult to develop among non-op, part-time transfolk.

I see these as growing pains of the collective consciousness of this segment of the Trans group. While crossdressing has been around for thousands of years, assimilation is just beginning to rear its head in terms of social integration into the mainstream. I think in order to beat the system of TG’s being “interiorized,” one has to reverse the concept of a trans identity that’s activity-based. In other words, hang out, be friends, visit family, do mundane things, and non-girly things (or things perceived to be ungirly…you know: hand tune a six-pack dual carb on a ‘69 ‘cuda). It can be the Seinfeld of transgirls’ night: A get-together about nothing. EVEN in drab clothing. Together or mix (one dressed, one drabbed) Once one breaks the barrier of being strictly t* and doing only trans activity-based stuff, there’s a better chance of a stronger bond developing.

I’m trying to support any trans friends I have, but in all honesty, if I got into any sort of trouble, it’s the straight non-trans friend who would be the first to come to a long-distance rescue.

Still I think we all have to make a concerted effort to evolve. Nothing worthwhile is accomplished overnight.

Here’s an interesting experiment: Regulars at a recurring trans* event all show up in drab for one night. Would the conversations be different? WHY? Would a different level of friendship develop? And if all else fails, at least the next time they meet all dolled up, there’d at least be a latent memory that other topics- aside from girltalk - are possible.

I have it from a very reliable model that this may prove to be an effective exercise: Any man that can accept a trans girl in both states have the greatest chance at a long-term relationship.

It’s been two hectic weeks since the TransProm, which was a smooth peachy success. Thanks to everyone who came out to help or just came out. My special props to Kyle and our man Jim, the smilingest fella from one end of 13th street to another. Jimbo took the picture above while helping the committee’s decoration princess- yours truly- with all things sparkly. Too bad he was whisked away by some Tom of Finland types before we could get around to spiking the punch bowl. Girlfriend, you haven’t seen a flame until you put Splenda to Kool-Aid!