Pristine Angie’s Good Homemaker Adventures at www.d332.com

Last night I had the sweetest dream ever:

I went to Russia to hang out with Andrei Tarkovsky. He showed me through a forest and led me to the edge of a lake. It was like having a big brother.

Even though I wanted the dream to last forever, I woke up with a big smile on my face.

I was going through some drafts in my online notebook for d332 when I came upon this interesting tidbit. As I haven’t done a Top Ten List in some time, I thought I take this opportunity to catch up with four. Top Ten Turn-Offs about men, trannychasers, women, and transgirls. Yes, everything can be going wonderfully for the evening, and then one of these nagging qualities come up. You try to convince yourself as you chew gum, roll your eyeballs and inspect your nails, “well, perhaps it’s those gosh darn vicissitudes of life at it again. Perhaps he’s just shy, cautious, or his mama just got hit by a bus that afternoon and she told him on her death bed his blue chip was a junk bond and the trust fund was monopoly money all along.” While these lists may have a tinge of negative psychic energy (and yes, I did say at an earlier post that categorizing is, by definition, faulty), I’m posting these lists as a curiosity because making them made me realize the difference between what I value and dislike about each identity. For example, why am I not bothered by women who talk persistently about sex, but find transgirls doing the same troubling? It certainly says something about my perception of each gender group. Perhaps you can try a list or two of your own. Again, it’s not an exercise to bring out negativity: It’s only a way to inspect how and where each of us subconsciously draw the line between the sexes. (note: I have italicized the recurring item between the two groups, but to really understand the dynamics, you’d have to compare all four groups with each other).

Top Ten Things That Would Turn Me Of About a Man.

1. Cheapskates.
2. Tightwads
3. Dismissiveness (”been there, done that” - my #1 most abhorred phrase)
4. Pettiness
5. Re-gifters.
6. Liars
7. Arrogance and Condescension
8. Oversensitivity
9. Tit-for-tat, what-goes-around-comes-around, eye-for-an-eye people. (The sheen around a man is his ability to keep cool and let things glide off him. Vindictiveness is simply pettiness in action.)
10. Nickle-and-dimers.

Top Ten Things That Would Turn Me Of About a TrannyChaser.

1.Cheapskates.
2.Tightwads.
3.Conditional Generosity (don’t even pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about).
4.Chicken-heartedness (I call these guys magicians, because they can make 12 inches look like 1 centimeter)
5. Internet Don Juans.
6. Talkers, not doers.
7. Vampire erections. (it only comes out at night, when the wife is back at home in bed)
8. OverINsensitivity (You expect us to pass as girls but you treat us like one of the boys)
9. Bar-room romantic. (only inside the bar, outside, they don’t want to know you)
10. Nickel-and-dimers (I’ve actually come across a trannychaser who asked me to physically split a drink he bought for me. He even asked the bartender for a second glass. I’m just glad that I happened to be carrying a class B pipet and 50 ml graduated cylinder in my purse to perform on-the-spot titrations. Guys, please look at #1 and #2)

Top Ten Things That Would Turn Me Of About a Woman.

1. Cruelty
2. Screams “Girl Power” but expects you to pay for the check and hold the door
3. Pettiness
4. “Me First” attitude
5. Inconsideration and lack of good manners
6. Competitiveness
7. Being loud
8. Oversensitivity
9. Jealousy
10. Bitchiness

Top Ten Things That Would Turn Me Of About a Trans Girl.

1. Bitterness
2. Nastiness (witless sarcasm, trying bitchiness, followed by a closing sign off of “huggs” or “toodles.” my #1 most abhorred “tranny” behavior. Let’s just say, you simply can’t afford to fake one more thing in this line of business)
3. Pettiness
4. “It’s all about my transition” attitude.
5. Label Whores (Plain and simple, if you need all those brand names to be fabulous, four words: You. Ain’t. Got. It.)
6. Gold-diggers (correct me if I am mistaken: if you have to dig for it, it’s not readily available to you.)
7. Only talks about sex
8. Thinks all men are only after sex (well what do you expect?…you talk about it round the clock)
9. Obediently adopting every female trait without a critical filter. (I’m going to coin a term here: Gender Imperialism)
10. Thinks that all there is to being a girl is talking about nails, hair and makeup.