Pristine Angie’s Good Homemaker Adventures at www.d332.com

Eduoard Manet could try, although I think Goya would probably paint me in one of his late period nightmares. Diego Valezquez! Where art thou?

I’ve always loved a good online hunt, but this one is surely the mother of them all. It all began with a lovely scene in Werner Herzog’s movie Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht. The scene is a town square where the inhabitants have discovered they have all contracted the plague. Town folk put their best clothes on and join hands to dance, awaiting death. Crosses, coffins, and wild animals litter the dusk lit streets. A gathering of friends sit at a table outdoors, surrounded by rats, with more coffins in the distance. They drink and feast on a sumptuous meal, making the best of each remaining day, enjoying the company of each other, and behaving kindly to strangers. It is the civilized way I hope to go if I were to find that the end of the world was approaching.

The music in question is a meditative, plaintive chant in the pattern of a droning voice with an overlying voice(s) above it, reminiscent of Armenian duduk folk melodies. It could have been a sacred composition? The opening credits of Herzog’s movies list Richard Wagner’s “Rheingold,” Herzog alumni Florian Fricke of Popol Vuh, and Sanctus written by Charles Gounod performed by “Messe Solennelle,” and then simply “Vok. Ansambl Gordela.” Enter three versions of the Original Soundtrack recording of Herzog’s Nosferatu. The first release from France, Spalax 14212 has ten tracks in 1992. CDSPVR from Germany released another version with ten tracks. Everyone screamed murder, since much of the music on either albums contain tracks that were not in the movie. CDSPVR finally released another version CD 2004 SPV Recordings 085-70192 (digipack) with four additional tracks. Amazon reviewers sang praises on the meditative tracks that “contained more vocals than in other Popol Vuh albums.”

Then one kid in the crowd pointed his finger and said, “look! Brüder Des Schattens (track 1) is in fact a truncated version of Hosiana Mantra.” If one wanted to hear the full meditative track, one would need to go to Popol Vuh’s Hosianna Mantra, which is released as a remastered version OR a two-in-one with Tantric Songs. I listened to the sample and recognized it to be the opening track in the beginning of the movie. Could the chant enter later on in the piece? It’s a possibility.

Even without the music, the previously mentioned cinematographic sequence alone would have been outstanding. Kate Bush thought so too. So she proceeded to transcribe the chant and hired the British Richard Hickox singers to re-record it for a segment in her song Hello Earth from the Hounds of Love album. A terse credit in the liner notes purportedly read “special thanks to Werner Herzog.” (Supposedly Kate Bush fans have pointed out that their heroine have also failed to give credit - where credit was overdued - in her piece “Eat the Music.” The chef would never have heard the compliments.

Next, Kate Bush fans and online blurbs point to the Vok. Ansambl Gordela (Vocal Ensemble Gordela), but no compact discs turn up when their name is Googled. Along the way, there is a healthy debate as to whether the group is a Czech choir or a Bulgarian choir. Someone mentions that Zinzcaro is a band that recorded the chant that did not appear on any of the Nosferatu soundtracks. However, a search for Zinzcaro turned up a rare recording only available in Japanese Amazon, known to the Japanese as Tsintsharo. Is it Japanese then? I hear traces of Anglicized South African triadic harmonization probably originating from Renaissance madrigals, but pentatonic melodies were wholly absent. Along with Japanese Amazon, a Chinese equivalent turned up on the search engine. Neither made any sense, until a reference to Georgian Polyphony showed up.

Back in US Amazon, Georgian Polyphony turned up World Music, which is owned by JVC. No cd’s were for sale though, not even used copies, but the samples are sounding very closed to the track used in the movie. The compendium Georgian Polyphony contains very similar variations on the piece. I discovered that JVC World Music issued three other volumes of the Georgian Polyphony of Caucausus. Searching for this title, I land on http://www.farsidemusic.com a British website specializing in world music. “CHORAL MUSIC FROM CAUCASIA Georgian Polyphony 1 (Reference #FSD1940) contains a song entitled “Tsinsakro.” Of course, I immediately jumped on it and pre-emptied my next three paychecks in Sterling Pounds.

Still not satisfied, I googled every possible combination of Gordela and Ansambl turning up former Gordela soloist Anzor Erkomaishvili, who had gone off to found the Rustavi choir. Along with this tidbit however, I also notice Temur Kevhishvili’s name, associated with a “Gordella.” When I plugged in “Gordella,” an album called “Georgian Folk Songs” turns up a Track 3, which contained a mysteriously titled “Cin skaro.” The Amazon reviewer states: “If you are looking for the song called various way such as: “Zinskaro”, “Tsintsharo”, “Tshintsharo”, “Zinzkaro” had used in the movie “Nosferatu” and Kate Bush’s song “Hello Earth” in Hounds of Love, your search is finally over!”

I quickly scrolled up to the BUY NOW button and of course, it greeted me with THIS TITLE IS CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE. German Amazon has one copy for 54 Euros. Noticing Russian words in the title, I immediately called up my beloved guys in Coney Island, the guys I lovingly refer to as my Russian mafioso boys, who have been my connection to all the Russico versions of the Andrei Tarkovsky movies. I have apparently accumulated so many gift certicate points from past Tarvkovski purchases, they gave me a darling deal on this cd.

At the end of this journey, I stumbled out of it all, cheeks flushed as if I have just emerged from a labyrinthian maze in Umberto Eco’s Foucault Pendulum.

Life would have been so much simpler if I had just stuck to Celine Dion’s greatest hits.

Addendum to this posting: I have received both CD’s. The JVC Recording, Georgian Polyphony I Choral Music from Caucasia features a version of Tsintsharo by the FEMALE CHORUS GROUP OF NATIONAL MUSIC SCHOOL AT TELAVI. If it is the Herzog version you are after, then you would best follow your nose towards Gruzinskie narodnye pesni - ansambl’ GORDELLA, which is the version used by Herzog. Although one should note that this recording is a vinyl-to-cd transfer, meaning you will hear pops and clicks. Any mastering program like Wavelab can get rid of it and restore it to Herzogian standards.

First Same Sex Civil Union Marriage in New Jersey, Third State in the Nation, Today! In my very own hometown of Woodbridge no less! Woo-Hoo! Bring out the cosmos! pour the champagne! put another layer of chiffon and tulle on the windows, turn up the Rufus vs. Judy Garland Cher dub by Danny Tenaglia. The cashiers are dancing in the aisles and the showtunes are blasting through the supermarket PA’s.

And ignore those grumpy guys with Nascar bumper stickers, NRA window stickers, walking around with big sourpusses giving you the evil eye because you look better in the low-rider supertight jeans than their wives.

They’re just straight-acting trade in denial!

Can I get a woopX2 and a special hand for all who have worked so hard to make it happen.

A big THANK YOU and hug to all responsible and involved!

Love,

Pristine

I’ve always thought it odd that trans* profiles and personal webpages constantly allude to their featured subject as being “classy.” While it’s an entirely abstract notion that doesn’t satisfy the least skeptical of us, it does accentuate and imply - thricefold- the presence of a silent majority who possess a shortage of this coveted trait. Are there really that many trans-folks who are not classy, that one can distinguish oneself from the pack merely with an unproven announcement? More importantly, does “classiness” really matter? I’ve always thought it was a neurosis belonging to the bourgeoisie who try to put as much distance as possible from that other abstract word: trashiness.

However you want to look at it, the only people who benefit are those of us who could care less about such concerns. To gain a full comprehension of the gesamkunstwerk that is the experience of living, one has to approach the subject from every possible angle, listen to every voice equally convinced that somewhere there is a diamond to be mined from the rough.

Here’s an example on the fluidity of labels: On Christmas, I offered to take friends to the other “bad” part of town where unregistered mini-trailers set up home. (The first bad part of town has its center at my address, since my driveway alone stirs within the sublime depths of branded pride an unmatched anxiety.) Despite my opinion that the decorative colored lights on these compact homes were quite adorable and charming, the offer was immediately met with a wince and shudder, followed by a resounding “No THANK YOU!” At the same time however, everyone would happily gallivant through the estate section of town to admire monotoned decorations that underwaged hired hands have been contracted to put up while the owners were out sipping latté at the local upscale mall.

My contention is this: It takes infinitely more drive to overcome the inertia of living in small modest quarters and get up to make the best of what one has. Such devil-may-care, joie de vivre certainly suits what I have long regarded as a trump card to class: style.

Everyone hides their prejudiced views like the plague, but taste consumers stomp around beating their chests, announcing proudly and triumphantly that they are, indeed, snobs. I never quite understood that. I remain entirely unimpressed by classy people and would assume that only dreadful bores who are so bankcrupt in imagination have to protest this much.

While Elias is an established musician/ pianist / keyboardist / vocalist / songwriter of a high order, one would be well-advised to casually ignore all the jazz snobs who bleat for Elias to return to playing “real jazz.” A pedestrian listener such as myself can even vouch that without experimentation, fusing of different music traditions, and the need to break the bounds of what is considered “real jazz,” Louis Armstrong, Bird, Miles, Anthony Braxton, Cecil Taylor would never have happened. The drive in modern day to petrify jazz into a respectable art form has backfired and made jazz stagnant and frighteningly outdated today.Ironically, what stodgy jazz connoisseurs regale as their iconic figure, Miles Davis, repeatedly broke the rules and courted many different music forms to make the continuum that is the heart of jazz pulse and breathe. Elaine Elias does just this. Those of us who love and listen to the so-called “hip” clubby/lounge music will truly appreciate the sonic adventure within “Around The City.” Club music often samples other people’s music passages into loops that- though stylish sounding- tends to entropy into banality. One has always wondered how the form could jettison in capable hands of great dexterity. Elias’s reading of Bob Marley’s “Jammin’” realizes this, with a momentum that sounds like a fluid updated sequel to Mile Davis’s Milestone. It’s fast, infectious, and reminiscent of the gyroscopic tension that Bebop was remembered for.

The track that is the pearl of the album however, is the stately “Slideshow.” How wonderfully it captures what I call that Brazilian “Certain Sadness” that Astrud Gilberto’s voice has come to embody. The lyrics are beautiful and the flamenco guitar and handclaps combined with crisp octaves on the piano are simply gorgeous. Just one listen puts me on the cliffside roads leading into that stretch of beach front in Ipanema.

Songs like the Latin tinged rhythm of “Running,” “Segredos,” and “Oye Como Va,” (suddenly sexy-sounding in the absence of Carlos Santana’s whiny electric guitar) to a traditional jazz ballad of Buddy Johnson’s “Save Your Love For Me” and a pop AOR easy-listening “We’re So Good” showcases Elias’s range. I hope Elias continues to explore. It’s a sheer joy to see and hear that bossa nova can continue to evolve and stay with the times.