Archive for August, 2008

I’ll have ten pounds of neeps, tatties, and nips with that! (update: August 31, 2008)

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

I could never understand a eating contest. I guess it’s just because stuffing hotdogs or turkey in between your jaws have trouble opening (see Kobayashi) seems like insanity. But that’s before I realize that it’s the choice of cuisine that was turning me off.

Now, a dish like Haggis!!! Well, that changes the story, totally. I first had my fill of this sheep’s liver and heart cooked in an inverted sheep’s stomach while in Glasgow, Inverness, and Edinburgh. Alright, I had some while staying in the Inner Hebrides too. Although Austin Powers’s Fat Bastard liberally quotes the Haggis, beloved Scottish poet Robert Burns does too as well. That’s something. Because correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t remember hearing Auden do a sonnet for Mickey-D’s.

Click here for BBC article on Haggis eating contest


The following recipe for Haggis was found at Chuck Taggart’s Haggis Page.

Combine the Haggis with the eating contest and what do you get?

* 1 sheep’s lung (illegal in the U.S.; may be omitted if not available)
* 1 sheep’s stomach
* 1 sheep heart
* 1 sheep liver
* 1/2 lb fresh suet (kidney leaf fat is preferred)
* 3/4 cup oatmeal (the ground type, NOT the Quaker Oats type!)
* 3 onions, finely chopped
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
* 1/2 teaspoon cayenne
* 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
* 3/4 cup stock

Wash lungs and stomach well, rub with salt and rinse. Remove membranes and excess fat. Soak in cold salted water for several hours. Turn stomach inside out for stuffing.

Cover heart and liver with cold water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Chop heart and coarsely grate liver. Toast oatmeal in a skillet on top of the stove, stirring frequently, until golden. Combine all ingredients and mix well. Loosely pack mixture into stomach, about two-thirds full. Remember, oatmeal expands in cooking.

Press any air out of stomach and truss securely. Put into boiling water to cover. Simmer for 3 hours, uncovered, adding more water as needed to maintain water level. Prick stomach several times with a sharp needle when it begins to swell; this keeps the bag from bursting. Place on a hot platter, removing trussing strings. Serve with a spoon. Ceremoniously served with “neeps, tatties and nips” — mashed turnips, mashed potatoes, nips of whiskey.

End of Summer Series 1 of 5 (update August 29, 2008)

Friday, August 29th, 2008

Last chance to wear white before Labor Day!

White shirred peasant blouse with matching white skirt

Why the name “Pristine?” (update: August 28, 2009)

Thursday, August 28th, 2008

I always see this look whenever people hear my first name.

It’s that “AS IF!” look.

It’s a misconception. I’m here to say it. The name is actually inspired by a song from a childhood hero:

Pete Townshend All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes

The song is The Sea Refuses No River and the first line is

I remember (love) being richer than a king,
the minutes of the day were golden
.

And then later on:

The sea refuses no river,
We’re polluted now but in our hearts still clean
.

Somewhere between these two lines – which I have felt a deep reverence for all these years – my favorite English word “lucent” morphed into a feminized-sounding equivalent and “Pristine” was born.

Proof That Books Doesn’t Make One Tolerant (Update: August 20, 2008)

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Diane Schroer

Washington Post Article “Job-Seeker Who Changed Her Gender Goes to Court”

Diane Schroer was a star candidate for the position of Terrorism Research Analyst at the Library of Congress. She was proactive and went ahead to inform her future supervisor Charlotte Preece, of her intentions before she started her job. Preece, armed with this knowledge, then rescinded the job offer.

It doesn’t pay to be forthright and honest. News of this sort will only encourage people to deceive their potential employers of their transgender intentions.

To be fair, Bob Dardano of the Library of Congress did go on the record to say that the library does have in its employment, several transgendered persons.

Predictably, there’s also an outpouring of intolerance online.

Nothing new there either: only cowards hide behind an internet connection.

The Circle or “Dayereh,” is Jafar Panahi’s Masterpiece (update: August 19, 2008)

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

Jafar Panahi's Dayereh the Circle Nargess Mamizadeh

This movie could be viewed as a political statement (it was banned in Iran) or a purely artistic work. Either way, it works, and it is Panahi’s masterpiece in a filmography that has been dedicated to the disenfranchised (Crimson Gold) and women’s secondary status (The Mirror, Offside, The Circle) in Iran. It should be mentioned that the dvd includes an interview with the director, who makes a point to mention that some of the Iranian laws depicted here (restriction from traveling without the accompaniment of males) have been abolished since the making of this film. However, the familiarity with such customs are still intact.

This is a superb piece of work both in craft and emotion. Beginning in a long circular tracking shot from a hospital window, a family learns a newborn is a girl when they expected a boy. From here, it moves in a continuous shot out onto the street (Iranian filmmaking tradition is intertwined and indebted to the Russians as the Bolshevik Revolution forced Russian filmmakers to flee to neighboring countries, one of which was Iran. The Russians are famous for their long continuous tracking shots).

A baton relay “race” is set up as the story of one disenfranchised woman is passed on to the next. Three women who have escaped from prison are attempting to move through the city with the least of means. We go from one to the other, as we learn of their personal histories and events that have led to their present hour of desperation.

Non-professional actors and professionals share the relay. Nargess Mamizadeh, whom Panahi came across in a park one day, was enlisted to play Nargess (the first girl with the thick handsome eyebrows and black eye). She’s extraordinarily pretty, to the point that Panahi had to “dress her down” with an unexplained black eye. Fereshteh Sadr Orafai as Pari who searches for a doctor to abort her child (the father was killed in prison and she has no way of providing), and Fatemeh Naghavi as a mother who dresses up and abandons an adorable daughter in hopes someone with better means can take her in, are both professional actors.

Circular motifs and circular settings get reiterated throughout the movie, illustrating an allegory of the vicious circle in a society that puts restrictions on women. Panahi mentions that his film is an attempt to compress an entire lifetime of a woman into one day, using eight women’s circumstances as a conduit. The movie begins with fast, jittery hand held pacing, and eventually decelerates into stasis, before ending in the same window first shown in a hospital, but now belongs in a prison cell.

Fatemeh Naghavi’s desperate mother and her forlorn five-year old daughter was absolutely heartbreaking to watch. When I watched the abandoned child crying, something inside me broke, and remained unmendable for weeks.

I never like recommending these types of movies to friends, because I shudder at the thought of them coming back afterwards with a review I see often about The Circle: “It’s depressing.” Not all films are meant to entertain and make their audience walk out “feeling good.” But as much as Panahi shows the oppression of Iranian women by men, it’s inspiring that as an Iranian man himself, he is boldly speaking out for those whose voices have been muted.

I have Middle Eastern men friends who often tell me that how they are represented throughout the world is not accurate. “We’re not all like that. It’s just that the ones who have the loudest voices get heard.” Panahi’s work is a testament to the existence of Iranian men who are concerned with the injustices dealt to the other half of the human race.

The Measure of A Man is Not What He Does With Power, but How Long and Thick his American Car is (update: August 18, 2008)

Monday, August 18th, 2008

I reject the notion that Americans have long been socialized to view their automobiles as an extension of their personalities. Regardless of what has been repeatedly confirmed about the statistical correlation of HumVee owners with the subscription of Extenze Pills, if the American Male were to create a car in all the qualities he desperately covets: primarily, girth, length, and color, then we’d have a long thick black cylindrical car that just doesn’t stop.

Come on! That’s just silly! It could never happen.

Buckminster Fuller Exhibit at the Whitney Museum New York NY June 26 2008 Septmeber 21, 2008

GO Elena Dementieva! (Updated: August 15, 2008)

Friday, August 15th, 2008

Elene Dementieva

My favorite shot of Russian tennis champ Elena Dementieva

My fav. tennis player Elena Dementieva beats Serena Williams in this week’s Beijing Olympics 2008. Dementieva takes the silver to Li Na’s (which incidentally, inverted to Westernized name scheme Na Li may translate as As If!) gold for beating Venus Williams!

I’ll be honest, my dementia for Dementieva is rooted in the fact that I think people with an overendowed overbite and/or upper incisors and canines are tremendously attractive. Remember Tea Leoni’s exposed upper incisors? Nice!

Okay okay, so I always root for Russians too, but contrary to what people may expect, I’m always delighted when beautiful people succeed on merit and ability. Anna Kournikova, who seemed to have made her way onto the court by appearances alone, was just so spectacularly bad at tennis, many of us wondered whether tennis would permanently turn into a dedicated spectator sport.

Dementieva, who hero-worships Martina Hingis (another possessor of maximus upper incisus) surely felt she scored for the hometeam in the well-publicized war of words between Hingis and the Williams Sisters in 1999.

Dementieva also has a bad case of the performance nerves (“stage fright”) which I can totally relate to.

But she’s a winner! Congrats to Russia and Dementieva! Yay!!!

Two more pics from Washington D.C. (update: August 14, 2008)

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008

Below is a pic of Nealbo and I at the National Portrait Gallery. We were there with his adorable friend Mary…whom I’m not entirely sure wants her grin to be associated with these jolly merrymakers. This is absolutely the worst picture of me ever. But, I thought I’d slap it up here just so you guys have proof that I do go out all over wearing stuff I wear in my gallery photos.

And I do it with a big smile!

But guys… NOW you finally know why I seldom smile in my pictures! Admit it! You want to tap out! I’ll happily revert to the meanie look that’s been the trademark of d332.com! Even though realtime friends know I am mostly laughing, rolling my eyeballs, or both when I’m away from the computer!

We went to the Annapolis Naval Academy the next day, but the summer sun was so hot, taking pictures was the very last thing on my mind!

Me and One of my Three Best Friends Ever! (update: August 13, 2008)

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

At the Zola Bar at Washington D.C. with one of my three best friends. Neal whom I have known since 4th grade!!!!!!!! Is it physically possible? YES! Is it grammatically possible? Well, NO!

at Washington DC Zola Bar

The Cultural Ark Is Flooding (update: August 12, 2008)

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

Mama Mia Across the Universe Beatles Abba

deja vu: Mamma Mia and Across the Universe

I was recently asked why I opposed the spate of movies and Broadway plays that retrofitted new images and storylines to old pop hits. Phyllida Lloyd’s Mamma Mia to the music of Abba, and Julie Tamor’s “Across the Universe” to the music of the Beatles.

The most apparent reason is the aural experience of listening to music. Similar to reading, listening to music forces the participant to bridge abstract representation with mental images. Th act of mental bridge-building is a creative act in itself. Music videos were criticized for deciding what images to go with a piece of music from which we would have needed, otherwise, to form our personal vista. When developed to its logical extreme, image association turned into simulacra, and beautiful people were utilized to sell music.

George Michael’s “Freedom! 90″ video, enlisting Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista and Christy Turlington marked the height of the era: It combined beautiful people (who had nothing to do with the song) with a recycled song.

Where could we go from there?

The Retrofitted Music Movie was the next plateau.

Images superimposed on music frees us from the task of creating images alongside the abstraction of lyrics and sound. It makes us lazy, supplying us with prefabricated imagery when we should be constructing our own. I guess that’s why you often hear people dismiss a movie with “the book was better.”

The second reason I oppose Retrofitted Music Movies is this: musicians and songwriters publish their works under one publisher. After a long career, the publisher owns the catalog of their songs. Companies and buyers bid on purchasing and reselling the publishing rights to the entire catalog en-block. Once in possession of this catalog, they subtract a huge chunk of royalties that need to be paid out to the musicians and songwriters whenever the songs in the catalog are redistributed. If you look at the retrofitted music movies, you’ll realize that the birth of the concept probably had little to do with someone wanting to create a new work*. If anything, it looks suspiciously as if it had been motivated by a pure business decision to cut cost and maximize gain. How did I arrive at this conclusion? Well, I had a hunch, being in the music and music publishing business for five years.

Today I finally checked the credentials to see if it supported my theory. Here was what I came up with:

Mamma Mia is created by NBC/Universal Studios. If you Google the Abba Catalog, you will see that NBC and Universal also owns the entire catalog to all their works.

Across the Universe is distributed by Sony. According to Wikipedia, “Revolution was a strategic partner of Sony Pictures Entertainment, which distributed and marketed Revolution’s films. The company shut down in October 2007, coinciding with the end of the five year deal with Sony Pictures.” The company is called Revolution Pictures, and Revolution was one of the Beatles’ biggest songs. Someone must have planned the creation of this subsidiary company for the sole purpose of manufacturing Across the Universe, which was made in 2007. Upon it’s completion, the task was achieved, the company was no longer needed.

So why does all this bother me, you ask?

I realize it’s the entertainment world’s age-old strategy to cash in on the familiar. Up-and-coming bands and even nowadays with surgery, movie stars, need to look or sound like a proven commodity if they want to have a higher chance of signing a contract. Pushed to it’s logical conclusion, movies utilized soundtrack that have been proven hits, to reduce the investment risk factor by, if not more than half: even if the movie was horrible, at least audience members still walk away misty-eyed with the sentimentality of hearing their favorite hits when they were in their youthful prime.

In a larger picture, however, recycling and retrofitting old music is actually detrimental to pushing the continuum of the art form ahead. I will always remember the notorious quote bold explorer Miles Davis made about conservationist Wynton Marsalis, who championed preserving “traditional” jazz heritage by continuous reiteration versus forging ahead into new territory. It was something to the effect that if jazz musicians did what Marsalis wanted, “we’d all be back in the fields picking cotton.”

For every remake of an old hit, a new original artist/songwriter is deprived of exposure to the public. We stagnate in nostalgia to put money in the pockets of entertainment execs, but years from now, when people asks us about our fond memories (many of which are indelibly interwoven with music) of the great millennium, we can only say “it was…uh…kinda like the 70s?”

*I have to be fair here. Bach wrote parts of his greatest cantatas as variations on old hymns. A bust of George Washington is really nothing more than a reiteration of Caesar’s profile. The continuum of the arts have trudged forward with an ebb-and-flow progress, reiterating between the retelling of well-worn stories and entirely new creations.