Archive for November, 2008

Thanksgiving Tips for the Girl Who Can’t Say No. (update: Nov 26, 2009)

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Girls, as Thanksgiving descends on us, if you, like me, are constantly waging a war at the battle of the bulge (that would be the WAIST bulge), here are a few steps to shock and awe the gastronomic offensive if you don’t want to outgrow your size 4 skirt.

1. Always remember to chew slowly and deliberately, don’t wolf it down.
2. Veggies (without thick creamy dressing) have negative calories, so if you take them dry or with vinaigrette, it will help you fill up quicker.
3. Drink lots of water to help you feel full.
4. Starches and Carby stuff (potatos, corn, orange juice) converts into sugar and is fattening.
5. Always pick white meat over dark meat (poultry wise). Don’t even touch the skin.
6. White wine if you have to imbibe. It pairs well with turkey too (even though this year’s Nouveau Beaujolais has a divine raspberry note)
7. If you can’t skip dessert, just have a fraction of a serving. (The golden rule is your serving portion should never be bigger than your fist.)
8. Weigh yourself and look in the mirror naked before you get ready to eat (don’t forget to put your clothes back on.)
9. Cook with butter substitute, Pam spray, whole wheat bread.
10. The most valuable tip for me is this: Always remember it takes approx 20 minutes before the food reaches your stomach and “registers” with your brain that you have eaten. If you feel you want to eat more, always remember that 20 minutes from now, you may not feel hungry even if put the shovel down now.

bonus tip: Try on a tight dress before you start dinner. If you are like me, and see the Michelin Man waving back at you from the mirror, it’s probably a good time to consider retracting your head from the trough.

May the Star Jones be with you!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Karalyn Kidde is bringing Karalyn’s Oasis to New Jersey on Nov 29 (Last Saturday of November)

Friday, November 21st, 2008

Karalyn_Kidde of Edelweiss, Ina's Silver Swan, Karalyns_Oasis

The legendary Karalyn Kidde, who brought you T* parties (even before the word transgender had been invented) at 29th st in NYC, then on to 44th st. Edelweiss, before Guliani, dressed as Marilyn Monroe busted it, and then onto to 54th st, and then down to the now infamous INA’s Silver Swan on 20th, and then off to Warren St.

Now she’s bringing her Oasis, a trans* theme night over to the P&L Lounge in New jersey for the very first time, the opening night is NOVEMBER 29, the last Saturday of this month.

I know there are a lot of girls who would prefer to change on location. There’ll be an area for getting your getups on inside the establishment. Parking is free and it’s a $5 donation at the door. The P&L Lounge is located on 49 Louis Street in South Hackensack, New Jersey, just off Phiilips Ave and Rt 46 .

It is located Behind the old Flamingo Bar, near the Super 8 motel.

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance (Update: Nov 20, 2008)

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

You know it’s important when it’s 5 AM on the east coast and I’m using every once of my energy to finish one last blog entry.

Transgender Remembrance Day is a day when we remember all the transgender / t* people who have fallen because of transphobia hate crimes.

Gwen Smith runs the Transgender Day of Remembrance website

In a country that touts diversity, in a school system where guidance counselors advise on the virtues of knowing that one thing one wants to do with the rest of one’s life, it’s remarkable how those who step forward and voice that very sentiment sometimes get snuffed out.

For all my friends on the extremities of this great country, always remember this: no matter how bad you feel you’re getting it, there’s still some 40 states in between where girls like us have got it worse. Imagine being in a small town in say, Wyoming or Iowa and not having any place or person to go to. Meditate on that loneliness.

Let’s give our best to them and NEVER ignore them online. Even if they want to say hi, you should always make the time.

I could go on, but in accordance with tradition, it’s a moment of silence that is fitting.

Appropriation or ReInvention: Why Girls Shouldn’t Always Be Girls (update: Nov 16, 2008)

Sunday, November 16th, 2008

While I’m aware that the continuum of the arts are historically known to thrive on the retelling of previously established conventions, there are artists who break skillfully from mere imitation, using identifiable imagery to root viewers in tradition while launching off into new exploratory paths. In poststructural culture however, many artists today are simply lazy, relying solely on a vacuous form of flattery that grew out of identical digital reproduction.

I’ve always had a great disdain for lipsyncing. I understand it’s almost religion in drag circles, but using a written song and someone’s voice to express oneself is not expression, it’s appropriation. I would rather a performer fail magnificently in using her own voice, than succeed artificially on the backs of canned ghosts.

I think I too may be getting a little bit lazy, carrying the practice of appropriation into my trans identity. I don’t want to get on the soapbox when I should be taking a bath: I bask in the 1950s persona of the stay-at-home housewife combined with Levin’s Stepford Wives. The saving grace is that instead of mere reiteration, the superimposition of three invented identities (50s housewife, Stepford Wife, my trans* state) opens up a gateway to exponential possibilities.

Though transgender activists will surely argue that transgender identity is NOT an invention, I look at it from a purely biological perspective. To get the operation is to revise history. Since I plan never to do that, it now becomes a 50s housewife, A Stepford Wife, and an untempered, non-hormonalized, male “ingredient” hidden within the labyrinthine folds of lace and ribbons.

Just as Marcel DuChamp utilized the incongruence of an industrial urinal in an art exhibit to propel 19th century art into modern art, I think the harrowing blur of femininity and masculinity in a trans* girl is a lifeforce that can possibly scrutinize the facade of traditional feminine behavior, propelling it into new directions of a modern allure for womanhood.

Everywhere I go in public, I catch these glances from men who want to know if I am creating a new genre, improvising on known, familiar format. The answer is YES. The established genetic code is still there, but the new artform awakens a new appreciation in them that may have been asleep all these years.

The gift of art to a viewer is to introduce a new way of looking at the same old thing.

This is a strength that trans girls should consider embracing, and not be too quick to discard. After all, the modern genetic girl (whose validation tg’s covet so preciously) – curses like a truck driver, carry on at top volume, behave brusquely, beat each other to a bloody pulp on youtube, and are at wits end when asked to boil an egg.

That sounds more like an average dude if you ask me.

10 Non-Living People I Would Have Liked To Meet (Update: Nov 14, 2008)

Friday, November 14th, 2008

I have already talked about 10 living people I would like to meet. So now, let me list 10 non-living people I would have liked to meet.

Jorge-Luis Borges

My beloved Argentinian poet, author, and director of the Argentinian library, this gentle man spins beautiful verses that are simultaneously stately, humane, sentimental (writing from memory as Borges lost his vision in old age and had to dictate poems to his wife Maria Kodama). Many believe that Borges’s vista of infinity and his concept of the endless library forsaw the advent of the internet. No one person has inspired me more than JLB to be worldly, encyclopedic, and humble.

Audrey Hepburn

Of course, in all of Hepburn’s movies, I always adored her pre-glamor, everyday person state (Greenwich Village’s Jo Stockton in Funny Face, the chauffer’s daughter in Sabrina). Daughter of Dutch Baroness Ella van Heemstra in real life, this gal’s easy graciousness came from true royalty where her Hollywood contemporaries had to marry into it. It was only this year that I found out that Hepburn had a funny thing about food. That endeared me more to her and I must admit, relieved me greatly as I was starting to develop a funny thing about food trying to get to Audrey’s weight.

George Bernard Shaw

My first literary love. I laughed loud at Shaw’s understated humor and conversational wit in his numerous plays. Long before I even knew the true meaning of feminism, Shaw’s Shavian ethics already promoted egalitarian ideals featuring strong outspoken female characters (Lady Warren’s Profession, Major Barbara). Though it’s true that Shaw nearly got a heart attack upon seeing how My Fair Lady eviscerated his original play Pygmalion, his diverse interests, spanning 30 volumes of works from political observations, art criticism, music performance reviews to wonderful plays and novels, ultimately formed the well-rounded person I aspire to be.

Andre Tarkovski

I fell asleep three times when watching my first Tarkovski movie Sacrifice. My boyfriend fell asleep even before the opening credits stopped rolling in Nostalghia. Still, the master Russian portraitist of the human figure has created an entire oeuvre in his filmography asking the lifelong questions, “why are we here?” and how the mystery of creation propels the lifeforce. Mirror (“Zerkalo”) remains the one movie I will bring to a desert island, seeing that everyone normally shipwrecks with a working dvd player and a portable generator.

Bill Evans

Jazz pianist of the 50s-70s whose introversion became inversely proportional to an increasingly profound beauty in his ballads, Bill Evans grew up in a town less than a few miles from my home. No jazz pianist in the modern day can play a passage that hasn’t somehow been influence by Bill Evans. In my teenage years You Must Believe In Spring was the album my youthful heart ached to. When asked to elect my prom song in high school, I excitedly piped out “Seascape, from Bill Evans’s I Will Say Goodbye! But of course!” A tumbleweed blew across the classroom, crickets chirped…even in the morning.

Glenn Gould

Pianist and Canada’s favorite eccentric son, Gould brought Bach back to the masses in his 50s rendition of the Goldberg Variations. Modernizing Bach’s Fugue, Gould used multiple speaking voices as a contrapuntal device. A fan of Barbara Streisand and electronic recording devices, Gould forecast MIDI technology by predicting a time in the future where audio components will have individual adjustments to control the pitch, attack, and volume of each instrument in a composition.

Malcolm X

Often portrayed by the media as a fanatic hatemonger, Malcom X actually did wonderful things for the black community in the 60s, bringing self respect back to a disenfranchised national identity. X’s sometimes harsh but always crisp pronouncements of the way things really were are constructions of sheer beauty. If knowledge can set you free, then Malcolm X was the model liberator. When he came back from Mecca – after seeing people of all races pray together side by side and in peace – his approach completely shifted into one of inclusion. Had he not been assassinated, Malcolm’s Camelot would, in my opinion, far outshined that of JFK’s.

Clifford Coffin

Above John French and Norm Parkinson, Clifford Coffin is my all time favorite fashion photographer. An American whose excellence in his work for Vogue Magazine in the 50s is only slowly beginning to gain reknown. His portraits of my all time favorite fashion supermodel Nancy Berg, are one to behold.

Carson McCullers

I voraciously read everything this Southern Gothic author wrote the moment I finished the Heart Is A Lonely Hunter. McCullers’ voice is that of an older sister; wise, open, curious, and queer. Imagined my fascination when I heard McCullers wanted to be a concert pianist and wedded to the music of Bach. A kindred spirit (in my estimation).

Ike No Taiga

18th century calligrapher and eccentric artist, this Japanese master of the brush created works integrating Japanese, Chinese and Korean culture alongside with his wife Tokuyama Gyokuran. The pair of aesthetes lived in squalor, living only to create objects of beauty. His works are regarded as National Treasures. An exhibit of the pair’s works were shown in Philadelphia Museum of Art last year. Gorgeously sumptuous. To see it is to understand the importance of living in the presence of beauty on a daily basis.

10 People I Would Like To Meet (Update: Nov 12, 2008)

Wednesday, November 12th, 2008

Werner Herzog (director)

Filmmaker, adventurer, cultural conservationist, part-time madman, what more could one ask for? Herzog believes indigenous cultures are quickly eroding, and is doing every thing he can in his power to preserve the few that are left.

Paul Little / Max Hardcore (imprisoned pornographer)

Full-time madman, charged with obscenity and known for alluding to “references” that lurk deep in the minds of the respectable middle class bourgeoisie. One hundred years from now, scholars will discuss the art of Max Hardcore the way we now discuss the works of Balthus and the nightmarish late years of Francisco Goya. Max should stick around long enough for virtual filmmaking to be realized. Real actors should not be in most of Max’s movies.

Camille Paglia (cultural commentator, alleged motormouth, and author of the superb book Sexual Personae)

Hunkered down in a women’s college in the 90s, the voice and writings of Camille Paglia saved me from the victimhood Kool-Aid that was served in the post-feminist era. Paglia, with nothing more than her pen has single-handedly and simultaneously liberated women, restored masculinity to men, and brought the joy back into sex!

Helen B Andelin
The Mormon author who wrote Fascinating Womanhood in response to Friedan’s Feminine Mystique. My all time favorite book, I treat Fascinating Womanhood pretty much as a secular bible. Paglia would totally beat me up for saying that.

Les Stroud (Survivor man)
Host of the show Survivorman, where survivor skills are actually tested in the wild, and not at the *cough* Sheraton, like the other Discovery guy. I think Les would be lots of fun to hang out with. He’s a pretty good musician too.

John McLaughlin (from the McLaughlin Group)
Because I have already met my favorite guitar hero John McLaughlin. In a lawsuit Linda Dean alleged that the Washington McLaughlin told her he “needed a lot of sex” and “would take care of every material desire” she had, and that he fondled her “intimately and against her will.” That sounds like something out of a Bon Scott AC/DC song. And coming from a conservative Washington bulldog, it doubly rocks! Of course, that won’t be the reason why it would be fun to hang out with shouting John McLaughlin, but…it can’t hurt.

Amanda Plummer (actress)
My favorite actress and one of the most underrated in movies. Known for playing characters on film, Plummer reserves her serious roles for the stage, doing everything from Shelagh Delaney’s A Taste of Honey to Shaw’s Pygmalion.

John Waters (Director, actor)

By now, it should be obvious that I think criminals are the life of any party. But no party would be complete without the one and only. The man who needs no introduction, John Waters, absolutely Divine!

Ann Coulter (Proven motormouth, Christian crusader and bomber of brown people)
Me and Ann Coulter having a conversation, assuming she doesn’t implode instantly, would sound like a Sam Beckett play read in reverse.

Jose Mestre (Guy from Portugal)
Assuming he is still alive, I would love nothing more than to go visit the Man without a Face. Aside from just wanting to say hi, I would love to hear him talk about everything else that he never got a chance to. When he says “My face is ugly, but my heart is not,” my ears become my heart.

Utilizing Cross Disciplines to Manage Public Transit (update: Nov 10, 2008)

Monday, November 10th, 2008

Before I begin this post, let me state this clearly: This is an entry about being transgender (transvestite, or whatever constitutes “passing for normal”) and managing the portion of the general public who lack an inability to control themselves from gawking. This is NOT a post about Jose Mestre OR Mandy Sellars (even though their stories are the few out there that are truly about beauty and courage, and I believe, should NEVER be looked at from a sensational angle …both have stories featured on The Learning Channel).

Thinking about Jose Mestre (The Man Without a Face) always makes me reassess the concept of beauty. Do we have a threshold when we say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder?” How far can each of us go in the name of “inner beauty,” and when push comes to shove, would inner beauty really tip the balance on the scale when outer beauty is the counterweight? Looking at the brutality of bloggers’ comments concerning Mestre, it’s apparent that we won’t go very far at all.

I look at it another way: Jose Mestre makes me dispense all the tedious baggage of physical beauty – nothing but a societal construct at best. Without such distractions, I am able to focus on the search for beauty inside a fellow like Mestre. It really wouldn’t bother me at all to be around such a person 24/7.

What would bother me would be the stares.

The German filmmaker Michael Haneke (Caché, Funny Games, 71 Fragments of a Chronology of Chance) once mentioned that American films continue the tradition of 19th century storytelling, while Europeans have come to distrust an approach they have seen manipulated by Nazi Germany during World War II. Camille Paglia also groups transsexuals, transvestites, and drag queens into shamans who exorcises secret longings of our culture. When I combine the two, what I come up with is a deconstruction of the thinly veiled facades we accept as civility and femininity.

People who don’t pass as normal (or recognizable genetic women, in our case) can easily see through the narrow confines of what the gawking public considers worthy of their inattention. Just as trans women have come to grasp the essential ingredients in a superficial femininity, we have also gained an understanding of just how little it takes to gain superficial acceptance. Cut your hair, wear dull clothes, grunt a bit about sports…Voila! “You’re an OK guy in my book.”

Armed with this knowledge then, how does one deal with the lack of civility in the general public? How does one manage each day getting from Point A to Point B when one’s Adam’s Apple clearly precedes one’s reputation? Aside from personal safety, I think the important thing to remember is that we human beings -despite our big brains and intellectual capacity – are essentially lab rats. We have patent Pavlovian conditioned responses to patent Pavlovian conditioned stimuli.

As a world traveler, I can only add that I have come to view power of words (ie. the audible insult) and language itself as a facade. When I didn’t understand a passing comment in Turkish from a group of locals in Istanbul, or Portuguese issued from Brazilian kids in Rio de Janeiro, I felt I was wearing a coat of Teflon where a vicious retort has as much teeth as a warm greeting.

In English-speaking areas however, I believe the most important tool we have is anticipation and preparation. If you are prepared for the worst case scenario- even when you know you look like a Hollywood movie star in the mirror before leaving your home- you will never be disappointed should that untoward moment arrive. I think heroes of resilience such as Jose Mestre and Mandy Sellars should be looked at by the trans* community as role models. If they can get up out of bed each day, go out there and deal with the same people we have to put up with, we can only trudge humbly behind.

It takes more than powdered foundation to get past the transparent public.

You need to anchor deep down into the bedrock.

McCain and Obama on GLBT issues, workplace discrimination, civil unions, etc. (update: Nov. 3, 2008)

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

Needless to say, I never tell anyone who to vote for. I and my friends are having a tailgate party at the voting station tomorrow however. Nothing fancy you know, just Everclear with gin chasers and a couple of sliced cucumber watercress sandwiches.

People often vote for what they can get out of a candidate. Since you are at my website, I am going to assume you have some interest in GLBT issues – primarily transgender topics, even though to date, the gallery, has not contained any transgender topics.

For what politicians’ promises, panderings, and words are worth, I guess an analogy to the lesser of two evils is statement vs. silence, a vote versus a non-vote, Absolut vs. O’Doul’s. You have someone who promises to do something, or another person who doesn’t address it at all. Fine by me either way. Read and educate yourselves before you hit the polls. But whatever you do, VOTE!

Barrack Obama:

Sen. Barack Obama co-sponsored the Matthew Shepard Act (federal anti-hate crimes law) and the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. When asked if he supports transgender inclusion, Obama said, “Absolutely. The transgendered community has to be protected. I just don’t have any tolerance for that sort of intolerance. And I think we need to legislate aggressively to protect them.”

from Presidential Hopefuls Sound Off on Gay Rights


Expand Hate Crimes Statutes
In 2004, crimes against LGBT Americans constituted the third-highest category of hate crime reported. Obama co-sponsored legislation to expand federal hate crimes law to include crimes perpetrated because of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Fight Workplace Discrimination and Promote Rights
Obama believes the Employment Non-Discrimination Act should be expanded to include sexual orientation and gender identity. Obama sponsored legislation in the Illinois State Senate that would ban employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.

from Adobe PDF of Obama’s Campaign Statement


And Obama’s open letter concerning the GLBT at the Bilerico Project in Nov, 2007, addressing the appearance of Donnie McClurkin at one of his events. (read the comments!) Barack Obama: A Call for Full Equality

+++++++++++

John McCain:

Senator McCain opposes passage of the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act. [13] When the vote came up in the Senate, he cast a deciding vote against it. The measure failed by a 49-50 vote, with Senator McCain voting no.

Senator McCain voted three times against expanding the federal hate crimes law to include sexual orientation — in 2000, 2002 and 2004. [15] His position is the same position held by the ultraconservative groups and the religious right who opposed the bill as well as that held by President Bush. The White House, in a veto threat, called the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act — which would have added sexual orientation to the federal hate crimes law — “unnecessary.”

Asked by a student what he would do on “LGBT” issues and on “workers’ rights,” Senator McCain paused, seemingly confused by the question. Someone in the crowd
shouted out “lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender.” “I had not heard that phrase before,” said Senator McCain of the abbreviation.

from
Senator John McCain: A Record of Opposing the Interests of GLBT Americans

McCain or Obama: Who’s Sexier or More Attractive? (update: November 2, 2009)

Saturday, November 1st, 2008

It’s unfair to compare the two considering the age gap, though McCain hasn’t really changed that much in appearance. In terms of physical attractiveness, Obama is obviously more attractive physically.

However, my gauge for measuring attractiveness or sexiness in a man is based less on physical than ideological. Don’t get me wrong, I love almost everything Obama promises to do and what Democrats stand for. But for me, what makes a man attractive and sexy is his ability to stand up for what he believes in, speak his mind, regardless of peer pressure or popular approval. Obama strikes me as someone who will distance himself from anyone or event that will impede his way to the top or mar his reputation.

I always laugh at those guys who play heels (the bad guys) in wrestling. Walking down the ramp and having 30,000 people booing at you, chanting for your head on a stick. I once asked a date if he would be self-conscious of being seen with me on the streets (I’m 6 ft), to which he replied, “who cares what people think, they can go f*** themselves.” (That’s New York City High Society talking btw)

I was so dazzled I started unbuttoning my skirt right on the spot.

McCain would stand by me if we were together and teenage gangbangers were coming up the street. Obama, on the other hand, would probably consult a percentage pie chart of GLBT and transgender votes in his targeted demographics, and based on that, totally duck into a deli and leave me standing on the sidewalk alone.

I feel all the cool, trendy, Hollywood hipsters are chanting against McCain right now. Obama’s got a lot of free passes from the media and he’s been able to buy approval with mystery donations, so he’s definitely the “in” guy: all the young hip Hollywood crowd is behind Obama.

Does any of this visibly affect McCain? No. He sticks to his guns and even shows support for Bush (urrghh!) at the RNC despite his advisors telling him it’ll be suicide to do so. In a similar move, when all Obama’s advisors demand that Bill Clinton refrain from talking about the economic boom during his presidency (it’ll take the focus away from Obama) when he stumped for Barack at the Dem convention, Clinton said something like: “Dude, I’m the OG Bubba and I’ll say whatever I want to say.” Now that’s a real man!

I don’t always have to support what someone stands for, but I will ALWAYS salute him for standing up for what he believes in.

McCain has marched to the beat of his own drums, and that’s Über-sexy!

You can have all the physical proof of the goods in the world, but if you can’t back it up, you’re just another lame pretty boy to me.