Archive for March, 2009

Where The Working Girls Are (update: March 26, 2009)

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

Reminiscing about the vintage pre-Disney 42nd st days with a friend, I am reminded of Club Edelweiss on 43rd street, 11th ave. Not one to look back in sentimental bliss, I’ll be the first to say that I don’t really miss the dirt, Playland jive hucksters, gruff electronics store bazaar clerks who could easily be living a parallel universe in Istanbul’s spice market, and that little man running around trying to turn Time Square into neo-Singapore.

Club Edelweiss, the biggest transgender club in the city in the 80s-early 90s, was a seedy 3 floor meeting place for admirers, amateurs crossdressers, johns, and most importantly, working girls. For those who remember, the strip- 43rd street running eastbound from 11th ave to 10th ave – was where all the working transgender girls ply their trade. I knew this because I was circling around for the longest time, trying to muster up the courage to go in and have a look. I became quite well acquainted with the pre-googlemaps layout of the whole operation.

When I finally did go in, I found it to be like any other club at that time. Darkly lit, lots of neon, drag queens, and gay men who didn’t quite make the cut for G. The most memorable night was the time a drunken fellow dropped his pants on the dancefloor. The drag queens took one look at what he had to offer and started guffawing (if you can imagine laughter that can be heard over If Madonna Calls, I’m Not Here). By reflex and through embarrassment, I turned away. 2 minutes later, there was an all out riot on the dance floor that spilled into the two bars. I think I was tossing back a gin martini when a fist flew past me. Eventually the cops showed up.

I loved Club Edelweiss, though not for the usual reasons. I patronized the place only a total of half a dozen times in all those years. But the thought that working transgender girls have a place to duck into, if things should go wrong, made the place tops, in my opinion. Maybe the bouncer will come to their rescue, maybe not, but the fact that non-johns were only a few steps away (and a brightly lit diner was next to it), was a great comfort to those of us who have the mobility and choice to go home alone at the end of the night. That’s why to this day, I support any establishment in the city that is teeming with working girls. It’s a safety issue for which I have great empathy.

The area where transgender working girls are permitted to do their thing is a mighty claustrophobic heel print. Many beatings and deaths go unreported. Venus Xtravaganza – from 1990’s movie Paris Is Burning – was a rare obituary that saw the day of light. Ironically, she wanted nothing more than to move out to the suburbs. I see the limited mobility of trans working girls as a microcosm of transgender people in society at large. ALL of us have the freedom to go into their space, but the same cannot be said of the reverse. Although it is slowly changing, transgender folk experience the same double standard: many people can go into transgender spaces and befriend them, but under no circumstances are those transgender people allowed to venture outside their allotted perimeters. I know of (ex)-friends, ex-lovers, co-workers who can freely mingle with me on their time, under their specified conditions. But if I decided to show up on their doorstep or office one sunny morning just to drop in and say Hi, maybe go out to lunch together… under the watchful eye of neighbors, co-workers, peers?

Hell No! Out. Of. The Question.

It’s funny that that little man, Mayor Guiliani – an amateur crossdresser himself – persistently tried, and finally succeeded in closing down Edelweiss. It’s relocated since, and there are several other establishments in NYC today that provide some sort of safe zone for transgender working girls. He went to Singapore and saw how nice a city can be renovated into.

Too bad he missed the fact that prostitution is legal in the city he modeled Time Square after.

Somebody – Anybody: Call Werner Herzog! (update: March 18, 2009)

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009


Photo from TLC Channel

The Learning Channel (TLC) is airing a show called “Toddlers & Tiaras.” Most of you will know this weird need of some parents to rob their children of their childhood and pit them up against other parents’ toddlers in beauty pageants when they are merely 4 years old from the Jon Benet Ramsey murder and the countless kidnappings of children from other weird tendencies.

I can almost understand TLC’s decision from an anthropological curiosity standpoint, or an attempt to understand the phenomenon in a way a student of American Cultural studies will approach it. They may even think that by drawing attention to an event where adults impose their values on innocent children, they may engage a dialogue that may lead to the eradication of this non-consensual competition.

I don’t think there’s anything anyone can do that will stop these pageants from happening. Parents, much like every day people, have – from the beginning of time- utilized simulacrum to conduct and win their battles for them. We pick favorite sports teams and pit them against our coworkers’ favorite teams. Asian parents have long used their children’s piano skills to one-up PTA members. We invest on our lawn so our lawn can kick our neighbor’s lawn’s ass. Our new car on the driveway (with 58 more installments to go) give us satisfaction over that pre-owned Lexus two houses down. JUST WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE!?

I only watched a few minutes of it (that was all I could take…it was too heartbreaking), but you never see a super attractive, successful-in-career, happy parent pushing their kids onto the stage. It’s always someone who looks like they need someone to fulfill the dreams they themselves were unable to realize.

But to those parents who insist on teaching competition to their children at a ripe young age, showing them that the yardstick for measuring achievement in life involves “beating someone” and not excelling for the sake of excellence, that acceptance is gauged by numbers written on scorecards held by strangers, I only have one question:

What happens when strange solitary men start appearing at your child’s pageant? Who knows who is now waiting outside at the parking lot?

Is a night’s temporal victory truly worth this?

Two girls: Karrin Huynh and Lesley Cornelius have started a Facebook group to try to ban this show. Click here to get to their Facebook.

Also, for moms and dads who want to learn more about this unfortunate trend, you can read up with two excellent informative books: (Parents who can’t obtain these- due to hard financial times- should check with their local public libraries. Chances are, they already have it. If they don’t, then exercise your taxpayer rights and demand your librarian to order. No public library should be without copies of both. It’s to the interest of the community at large.)




The Lolita Effect by M. Gigi Durham

and




So Sexy So Soon, by Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilbourne

Joie de Vivre (update: March 16, 2008)

Monday, March 16th, 2009



Olivia Palermo

I recently thought: “What are the 3 most important things in my life?”

Health, Inner Peace, Remembering to Enjoy Life.

I wish I could include nice picks like “love” or “charity.” But deep down inside, we all know that you can’t truly be in the position to take care of anyone until you are in the position to.

On a brighter note, stuff like “money” “fame” and “beauty” is not all that important to me. I’ve held jobs that made a pretty penny. And during those years, all I thought about was, “what can I buy with my paycheck to justify this ridiculous job?” I’ve kinda experienced fame. I’ve been on stage, on the radio, on records, and everywhere I go these days, people seem to be extremely interested in staring at me, taking pictures of me with their cell phones, or following me around. Beauty…well, who doesn’t wish they look like Olivia Palermo?!

I’m not sure how this hit me this past week. Maybe it was watching 1971’s movie Harold and Maude, combined with old Julia Child French Chef episodes and Jacques Pepin’s wonderful signoffs (“cooking with friends is always better than cooking alone”), talking to long time friends on the telephone, and spending time with my boyfriend. Somehow, the gestalt of the week’s events combined, bringing into focus, a sense of urgency in relishing the art of living.

But having your health, attaining inner peace- meaning, to be able to go around and live your life without giving a hoot what strangers think about you, and arriving at a joy of living, the happiness of starting a new day, the love of our short stay on earth, and celebrating the privilege of humanity, and being good and honest to friends, family, and the people around you…

That’s important to me.

10 Frequently Asked Questions (update: March 11, 2009)

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

I am implementing a FAQ for this site. Based on questions I have been asked in the past, I selected ten most frequent questions.

10. Aren’t you promoting discrimination against women by lauding chauvinistic, take-charge men?

Although I am greatly appreciative whenever feminists include transwomen in their call for equality, I think it’s safe to say that no one will look at what I do or say, and subsequently rethink their perspectives on the equal treatment of women. No one could possibly read d332.com and walk away saying, “she speaks for all women” or “she speaks for all transwomen” for that matter. At the same time I am not one of those flaky individuals who claim I am being ironic and my statements and behaviors are clever, sarcastic commentaries on the antiquated patriarchal society. I would be positively horrified to see genetic women get run over by men if that was not something they desired, which is most of the time. At the same time, we have to remember there are women out there who feel comfortable being bossed around by men, letting the man take charge. They just don’t attain the same visibility as feminists. The concept of choice is based on your freedom to chose, it is not about being bullied into having the same ideals as everyone else.

9. Do you like role-playing?

I have an intense dislike of role-playing. A perfect summation of all the things I find wrong with role-playing can be seen in 2008’s movie CHOKE, when Heather Burns as Gwen- the internet date- rattles off an endless set of rules to Victor for their s/m play-r@pe role-playing. If you are a nice, kind-hearted fellow, then I’d be delighted if you remained one. If you are a possessive, ruthless, alpha-male, SOB who likes 24-7 HOH (head of household) micro-managing of his girlfriend, that okay with me too. Just don’t try to be something you are not. It reeks of phoniness.

I am NOT into the S/M scene. I read the writings of the Marquis de Sade when I was young. I was electrified by the daring of Pasolini’s Salo, and have a greater appreciation of it now that I am acquainted with the writings of Pierre Klossowski and the menu of Mickey-D’s. But the salutation of “master” or “mistress,” all those whips, ball-gags, latex, ropes and chains tell me one thing: if you need all these superficial tools to assist you, you really don’t have true power over (or trust with) that person.

8. Do you date transwomen, transgirls, or genetic girls?

No. I dated only men when I was dating. (I am currently in a full time relationship with a man). I started dating men in my early twenties. I have no desire to date women or transwomen. I have even less than no desire to date men who like to dress, or men who like to try on women’s clothing. I have nothing against it. It just doesn’t do anything for me.

7. Are you post-op?

No. I don’t plan to do anything with the main plumbing. I think a woman’s anatomy is a gorgeous work of art. I also think that a man’s anatomy is equally beautiful. To modify that part of me, in my opinion, would be like taking a knife to one of Gorgia O’Keefe’s paintings. It would be like dumping a can of Pollock’s paint onto a Vermeer.

6. Are you on hormones?

No. I have heard that hormones disturb one’s sex drive. It may or may not impede mine, but I am not willing to take that chance. One’s sex drive is the lifeforce that frees one’s creative imagination. I have no issues with my organ. I play piano.

5. What are you into?

Stepford Wife, which should never be confused with the docile, love-you-long-time, mail-order brides. The former is out of choice, the latter is necessitated by the desire to obtain a U.S. citizenship, which, when achieved, is usually followed by a summary discarding of the husband. I have been in the U.S. since a child. If anything, moving out of the United States would be a grand idea.

4. Do you pass?

Probably not. The giveaway is my height. I am a few millimeters shy of 6 feet tall without heels. If people chose to look closer, they will probably see something. If they just go about their business, they probably won’t. Having said that, there’s been this observation that many supermodels tend to have androgen insensitivity, which means a Y-chromosome alongside a mutated X. That’s why they are so tall, and sometimes slightly masculine looking. Whenever I think about the plight of my height, I console myself by remembering the time I saw Kamila Szczawinska walk down 8th ave. in NYC. She towered above every man on the sidewalk, and she actually looked prettier in real life than all the super-retouched Vogue magazine ads I’ve seen her in.

3. What type of men do you like?

In the Jean-Paul Satre play Dirty Hands, Hoederer says, “I, I love them (men) for what they are. With all their filth and all their vices. I love their voices and their warm grasping hands, and their skin, the nudest skin of all, and their uneasy glances, and the desperate struggle each has to pursue against anguish and against death.” As long as they wear men’s clothes, I always manage to find quite a few interesting things about all the men I come across. I have mentioned how chauvinistic men, as a soon-to-be-extinct anachronism, fascinates me greatly.

2. Why do you like pink so much, is it because it’s girly?

Actually my love of pink originated from my love of a beverage in my childhood. It’s an ice-cold, milky, sweet, drink filled with the scent of Pandan leaves. It is called Rosewater Ice Milk. Sure, pink is girly, and that’s a fun perk. Hello Kitty is also pink. My electric guitar is also pink. But I wouldn’t love something just because it was girly. If I did, I wouldn’t have such a dreadful time telling an episode of the Hills from Gossip Girl, or Beyonce’s songs from Hannah Montana’s. At this point, I can’t even tell the difference between American Idol and Billy Idol.

1. What outfit epitomizes your look best?

For an accessory: the ribbon. For an outfit, the matronly schoolmarm librarian outfit. For anything below, there can only be one: the garter belt with stockings.

Daddy, I want to grow up to be a…. (update: March 7, 2009)

Saturday, March 7th, 2009



Some boys want to grow up to be.
Cowboys, firemen, president.
Not necessarily in that order.
Some girls now fancy themselves
supermodels, or people TMZ should stalk.
An adult film star or pop goddess,
the demarcation is getting
less clear each day, and sadly
so is the wait.

Once upon a time girls were given
dolls and play ovens, training
them to aspire to be
someone’s perfect little wife
some divine domestic goddess.
Now another lawyer or a doctor is chic.
It’s the principle not the money
parents insist.

We’ll do what we do best when we do what we love.

In my youth I loved a skirt suit
over a bow blouse maybe a ribbon.
I also loved serving men
bringing them food and refreshment
attending to men’s comfort
sate their needs,
all while wearing a suit and a smile.

What in the world can a grown up do,
wearing an outfit meant for the office,
remaining impossibly trim,
in makeup to please a man’s gaze,
greeting men with a smile when they arrive
bidding them a fond farewell when they depart,
almost yearning for their return,
even after they mistreat you
boss you around and humiliate you
in their chauvinistic way?

Eureka! An Air Stewardess!
An airborne Stepford Wife!
The only dream job I had in my youth.

We’ll do what we do best when we do what we love.

Man:0 Machine:1 (update: March 6, 2009)

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Though not a fan of science fiction literature, I’ve remained impressed with how prophetic some writers have been with the direction our society would eventually move towards. I like H.G. Wells, love Rod Serling, and Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics is often on my mind as I watch people around me become mindlessly enslaved by technology: I recently watched a man practically get mowed over at an intersection because he was crossing the street and punching emoticons into his blackberry.

Wonder what was so important that it couldn’t wait the 3.5 seconds it would take to cross the intersection safely.

Ever since the industrial revolution, man has been sleeping a little less soundly on work weeknights. Will his job be there in the morning? When will he be obsolete? The progress to replace the human fingerprint invariably sped up with the proliferation of computers into society at large. Auto workers are hired more as tokens humans these days. Assembly line products made on the cheap have replaced good old fashion hand craftsmanship, leading to giant mega-multi national superstores that undercut and put mom and pop out of business and on to Main Street. Movies are pumped with computer generated CGI effects, blowing audiences away with the WOW! factor while the storylines get increasingly vacuous and infantile. Kids are starving themselves, maxing out their parents’ credit cards or cashing their trust funds for cosmetic surgery, large eye contact lenses, triple eyelids, and leg extensions, all to assimilate Anime characters, supermodels and movie stars that have been airbrushed in Photoshop to have a look they themselves can’t accomplish in real life.

Ever watch someone wrestle with a plastic clamshell package to open it? Curiously, clamshells often house tech products that enable human beings to reach other human beings (PDA’s, cell phones, blackberrys, for example). Whenever I think about this, I know machine is rapidly advancing on us. Instead of boycotting plastic clamshell packaging, people devise new equipment and methods to open the package. Humans are getting increasingly distracted by technology, lured away from maintaining their oral history and connecting with others from their species.

For the greatest irony, clamshell openers- specialized scissors to assist humans in opening the impossible clamshell packaging, comes…..packed in a clamshell.

The greatest irony: clamshell openers -specialized scissors to assist humans in opening the impossible-to-open clamshell packaging, comes…..packed in a clamshell!

While they are busy crossing the street trying to find a Starbucks for a G3 connection to figure out how to open a clamshell, some bumpkin in a rapidly diminishing village has already gotten through to his fellow villager.

This is not progress.

What’s that WEC World Extreme Cagefighting Intro Song (update: March 6, 2008)

Friday, March 6th, 2009


Mike Brown stuns fans and wallops reigning champion Urijah Faber in the shot heard around the world

One of my weirder eccentricities is watching cagefighting when I come across it. It’s not so much the violence as it is the rhythm (I watch boxing too) and the tensile transfer of energy from muscle through limb to jaw. It’s also interesting to see how fighters defer in approach, from over-calculating strategy, to Jiu-Jitsu (meaning “the gentle art” which goes completely counter to Bruce Lee’s pure definition of martial art as “use all means necessary” warfare) to just plain out brawl.

I do love the opening music for WEC’s program on Versus, as the vibrato guitar riff closely resembles how I once played the electric guitar. Like the show, the song really kicks. So I tried Googling the theme song for WEC and came up with nothing but MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) fans querying for it themselves. Those who were intrepid enough to ask got the online throwdown from toughies who only wanted to talk fight. Last time I checked, all you need for an online throwdown was a mouse.

So I utilized my search skills and here is the answer. Many were misled by the theme song for the other WEC show Wreckage. That one was written by Celldweller, and it is called Switchback. That is the correct title, but not the song we are looking for.

The song I refer to is called Illuminati from Fatboy Slim. Norman Cook (“Fatboy Slim”) remixed his song “Michael Jackson” for years, and Illuminati, featuring two lines of lyrics by Bootsy Collins, is the end result. Yes, it was also used in the Tomb Raider movie:


Illuminati
A secret society do exists

By the way, a big CONGRATULATIONS to Mike Brown for defeating WEC reigning featherweight champion Urijah Faber in the first round. MMA fans- myself included- were stunned, but a little doubtful, perhaps, as to whether Brown just got lucky that night. This week, Brown successfully defended his title against Leonard Garcia and silenced most critics, ending the fight in 2 minute 3 seconds. This time it was my turn to be stunned by the fact that many Corpus Christi Texans booed him. I love Urijah Faber, his lack of pre-fight trash-talking, his dazzling skills. But Mike Brown, and his lack of pre-fight trash-talking made me an instant devoted fan the moment he knocked Faber down.