Pristine Angie’s Good Homemaker Adventures at www.d332.com

I normally don’t spend much time on transgender-focused websites. For the path I am taking (non-hormones, non-surgical (the big one)), much of the information only applies to a small degree. Once in a while, I do need to look up topics such as work and ID issues. When I do, the first place I go is Andrea James’s Excellent TS Road Map.

There are many many websites dedicated to Transgender lifestyles and Timetables. However, if you didn’t know what you were doing, you’d have to sift through a pile of links, 85% of which are devoted to weekend warriors and bedroom transgirls, and the other 10% are fake sites. So where are the remaining 5%. In my opinion, TS Road Map is a one-stop shopping center of facts and ideas. And it applies to anyone who is embarking on, or seriously considering doing it full time.

I’m sure my mysteriously absent readers (who communicate by email but never by commenting) can suggest many more relevant sites. Feel free to, by whatever methods. TS Road Map has a links section and looking over them, I see names and places that have been around since the late early 90s, so you are in good hands. Check out also her links on Fake Internet Transsexuals.

Andrea James has been generous with her knowledge, and you will be sure to gain an insight into how to go about certain aspects of your T*ness. I know I learned something. Of all the websites I have seen, this one is the most well-organized, cleanly laid-out info depot. Just reading some of the pages will reassure you that you are not alone.

Also a particularly notable site I was reading before revisiting TS Road Map is the Transgender At Work website. Also, check out Transgender Employment Links at Gender Sanity. There is a wealth of lifesaving information and links here for anyone who wants to come out at or between jobs.

Imagine someone telling you:

“Hi, I’m with the A/ABiCgGfGqIsLGTQPsPoly3rdg2sK of New York? We were wondering if you support the A/ABiCgGfGqIsLGTQPsPoly3rdg2s’s of our society?”

Once upon a time, there used to be a LGBT community. Then someone discovered male enhancement pills, took some, and found he couldn’t afford a Hummer.

And now: A/ABiCgGfGqIsLGTQPsPoly3rdg2s (Androngyne/Ambigender/Bisexual/Cisgendered/Genderf**k/Genderqueer/Intersex/Lesbian/gay/transgendered/Pansexual/Poly/Third gender/Two spirit)

I think diversity is a great idea, but continously segregating, sectioning and diluting already small groups into microscopic levels, like the concept of political correctness, is just playing into the hands of the powers that be.

Think of a Yahoo Group. If there’s four large groups, and they mobilized with each other and put their differences aside, they could get quite a few things accomplished.

But many insist on having their own identity (consumerism having been blurred into individualism), and so, instead of coming together, you have a thousand Yahoo Groups with 2-3 members each that nobody reads.

Now go out to the midwest, where the LGBT is a small group in a local town. Does anyone have the luxury to enter a war of words just to declare their two-spirit identity?

Ironically, the very people who fight for diversity and argue against being labeled are turning into the people who want to label themselves to specificity ad nauseum. Instead of combining our minds to think of bold new solutions, we’re fighting amongst ourselves over mere letters.

In the time it takes for me to argue whether I’m A/ABiCgGfGqIsLGTQPsPoly3rdg2s, I’d already have been able to tell you I’m a human being.

I have been wanting to get to re-writing my Introduction Page to this site for over a year. I’ve always shied away from paying too much attention to my website, as those of you who know me have already discovered. Any mention of any pictures will bring me here to look up, since I don’t remember which is being referred to.

While attending to my Introduction Page, I noticed many hyperlinks that go in all direction. That’s because this website is 11 years old this August. It has gone through a multitude of changes.

One of the things I promise myself to do more is to bring a camera with me when I do go out with friends. I hate for anyone to think that this girl sits at home and snaps pictures all day. I do go out often, but I never tote a camera along. I also promise to smile in more of my pictures.

Here is the new Introduction to this website (which can also be found on the upper corner side bar of every page entitled Introduction)

Eleven years after the debut of my first website at Yahoo Geocities in 1997, the mere six page Transvestite Freedom Fighter has morphed into a veritable beast in a labyrinthine maze of links. Although all the original pages can be found archived here, the original concept of the website rests on one fundamental idea: “Never apologize for who you are, or what your website is about.” I never understood why transgendered people continually prefaced their webpages with an adult warning content. Transvestite Freedom Fighter was a call to stop associating one’s identity in the same category as explicit adult content.

Eventually, the page changed into The Art of Not Passing. This theme inspected the whole importance many transgendered people put on passing. As a person who is on the fringe even within the transgender community, I saw passing as a curious metaphor for conforming. It wasn’t that I had any problems with the notion of passing. After all, one must pass to experience as little friction in our non-accepting culture, seeing that transgender people are the final frontier for prejudiced treatment in modern day. I simply chose to inspect the idea of passing as a way to illustrate how everyone needs to “pass” according to their environment, in order to survive and function.

I believe the day everyone passes will be the day the label “transgender” gets retired. Much like a global economy and a global culture, indigenous societies and unique voices are quickly being swallowed up, losing their identities.

The Art of Not Passing then became The Solitary Arc, which was just a collection of my writings and pictures. In a way,The Solitary Arc paved the way for the self-identifying d332.com. I’ve always felt that with all the transgender websites detailing every aspect of SRS and transitioning, the collective perception of trans* people is that SRS and transitioning is all we talk about. So I thought I’d reveal instead, the other things that occupy this transgender person’s mind.

I am driven by a sense of happiness that I derive from speaking to the people within the culture. I wanted to provide a modest but positive free website on the internet regarding the community, because we haven’t really been given a fair chance in the public’s eye. Most of what people get from search engine returns either adult sites or argumentative in-fighting within the t* discussion groups (and there’s a lot of that).

Certainly, the group that is closest to my heart, the brash, self-descriptive gay transvestites, have been disappointingly under-represented.

So here I am.

I have been transgender for over thirty years. I don’t plan to transition fully, but I’m going to get a few bumps put on here and a few bumps taken off from there. Anyway you cut it, both the male and female anatomy are gorgeously remarkable works of art. I am struck by wonder when I think about the beauty of the human body. I am not a hormone-taker, as I feel that sex drive is one of the critical lifeforce in sustaining the great human imagination.

My increasing preoccupation with the home-making Stepford Wife has made this website arrive at the point it is at today. Although I am a staunch advocate for women’s rights, equality, and feminism, I also believe that everyone should be able to live free and chose the life they want to lead. Stepford Wives, and more importantly for me, the docile Asian “Lotus Flower” are social constructs. The difference between the two is that one lives in comfort and modest luxury, while the other has to make do with bargain-hunting white males. For my personality type, the choice is clear.

Human beings are constantly in danger in their coexistence with viruses. But we shouldn’t flatter ourselves as superior beings. Instead, we should take the path of virus mutation as an ideal, and develop accordingly. I want to continuously, energetically, and joyfully change, morph, improve, learn, and absorb knowledge, wisdom, and humane lessons with each passing day.

This, for me, is the most important transition: to be a human being first, and a transgendered person second.

So relax, make yourself at home, and enjoy!

I like to talk about a topic that’s close to my heart. I’ve given a few public talks on this topic over the years. Passing (the ability to go into the public undetected, or in trans-speak: without getting read) appears to be the highest accomplishment among the girls and boys. At this talk at C.W. Post, I attempted to illustrate the similarities between passing and assimilation. For mtf trans people then, they are the minority culture, and genetic girls are the dominant culture.

For those of you who are interested in examining this microcosm, Rosalind Wiseman’s Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence, the book the movie Mean Girls was based on, has remarkable parallels to the culture of passing in transgender communities.

I think it’s safe to say that everyone would love nothing more than to carry on with their daily tasks without any harassment, snide remarks, snickers, or stares from bystanders. However, a revelation occurred to me several years ago: Passing only guarantees non-detection. Passing does not guarantee allure, beauty, or attractiveness. You could pass and still be a completely average (or below average) girl. In fact, to minimize all attention in public, one has to be a girl of no particular qualities.

Now I am aware that there is a large group of girls out there who just want to align their internal image with their outer image. Aesthetics may not top the list when it comes to being able to live and cope with oneself on a day-to-day basis. I sympathize with and understand that goal. I do think though it’s worthwhile to examine the other alternative to passing. And that alternative is to be so fabulous that no one even cares what gender you belong to. Sure, there are drag queens who practice the over-the-top aesthetic, which in itself is a great distraction from the passing question. In fact, the charm of drag queens lies in their crazed pursuit of a new language in gender markings. I have always admired and respected the exploratory aspect of drag.

For the rest of us however, perhaps a bright neon peacock feather and nine inch platform heels may be a little bit impractical when going off to buy charcoal for the grill at the Home Depot. I’m thinking maybe a little magic, a little something, a personal touch that gives each of us a little flair. A signature.

For my signature, I know I’m at my best and most inspired when I dress like an antiquated old prim lady. This is how I’ll always know I got it going on: If I walk down the street and old men and women halt their geriatric walkers, look up with a glint in their eyes, I know I got game. When I recently walked down the city streets of Philadelphia, all the octogenarians were giving me a thumbs up. “Now THERE’S a person who dresses with the times,” I distinctly heard a ninety five year old woman marveled.

There’s a vocal majority among genetic girls who are trying their damndest to stand out from the pack. We’ve got a head start, so why not try running with the wind and being daring for a change?

July 2007 Celebrating Ten full years online, www.d332.com - which formerly started out as the Transvestite Freedom Fighter, when Geocities was still a free homepage and everyone was just beginning to learn about WWW links - presents an anniversary edition picture of your humble author.I remembered announcing the debut of my website on many of the alt* newsgroups, and when it went on air, within the first hour, the counter read 43,124 hits. Now after ten years of photos, advice, transcription of speeches, social analyses, travel-logs, mp3’s more pictures, we are entering the 11th year still strong!I’d like to thank two people who have been online alongside my for the good part of the journey: My beloved online friend Richard Evans Lee and Tiffany Michelle of the now defunct TG Tower.

How apt it is to renew my webhost service and domain on the fourth of July? Be free and be who you want to be! love your wonderful life! and enjoy this small moment we each got on our short stay here.

Kisses!

Pristine.

As a student in classic feminist studies pre-Grrrl era, I am torn between sides when it comes to the question of whether the Trans* girl should split the bill when out about town with the man friend. One side of me acknowledges independence and the tacit agreement that paying one’s own way means no transaction has taken place. At the same time, the opposing side can barely contain voicing the arduous work that goes behind the scene of being trans.

It’s often been sulkingly admitted by cynical, grouchy old men that prostitution is alive and well in the mating of the sexes. If the man bought his girlfriend a beautiful diamond ring, she is expected to show gratification, appreciation, and loyalty. A transaction is understood to have taken place and results are expected.

I’ll admit that it’s quite glamorous when a girl can buy herself that diamond ring she’s always wanted. I’m sure the cynical guy would love it too. But where is the romance? Where is the happy, go-lucky fresh-as-first-time, devil-may-care, joie-de-vivre of falling in love? (In my opinion, the poshest ring remains the one given to Audrey Hepburn by George Peppard in Breakfast At Tiffany’s: The one from a 25 cent Cracker Jack box.) That’s romance!

Many will assume that sex is the currency being exchanged, after all, let us remember that a girl who gives it away is seen as something less flattering than a boy who gives it away. The former is looked down upon in our society while the latter is revered. So a traditional girl naturally protects her assets the way a man does. When she does give herself, it is the equivalent worth of giving that which makes her valuable.

That is why the world’s oldest profession continues to be so, and man continue to fetishize trading their money for women’s bodies.

A man, by traditional socialized hierarchy has a greater mobility in moving up in his career, which will lead to higher financial gain. Today, as the modern woman inches slowly pass the glass ceiling towards financially egalitarian grounds, she has dispensed with the notion of the traditional woman.

That’s why the grouchy guy, though happy that he can now hold on to his loot, has a new complain to gripe about. “Why are the women of today so butchy and bossy?”

My guess is that they got tired of waiting around for that diamond ring so they up and got together the means to buy one for themselves.

An obvious example that clearly illustrates the difference between a man’s worth versus a woman’s worth occurs when men (whose value is based on the wealth they spread) get into a dress and rush to play the fantasy role of the slut. They may look like a girl on the surface, but in their mind, they’re still passing their bodies around like money in order to validate their worth and compete against the next trans* girl.

Truth be told, a man in full should never let on that he is loathed (pronounced “C-h-e-a-p“) to take care of his girl. What that tells the world is that he’s been played by a gold-digger one too many times, and that he has not made the more prudent choices in his life thus far.

Now, we take up trans* considerations. If one argues that paying is a form of exchange for services rendered, then consider this: Every trans person does twice the amount of everything an average person does just to make it through the day. They have to work twice as hard to find a job, make twice the effort to get medical and financial aid, shave twice as often, go to twice as many facial hair removals, shop twice as hard for the right sizes, put on twice as much concealer, have twice as much courage to get out the door, maintain twice the wardrobe, and manage two lives….and that’s just in order to not stand out.

To stand out- in a good way -she has to do more work on top of that.*

And where is the man during all this time? Throwing on a pair of boxers, cracking open a beer, and deciding whether to leave that five o’clock shadow on to give his huskiness more presence.

So guys, when you next take that trans* girl out, don’t nickel-and-dime your way through the night. Truth be told, twice as many girl-hours have already been spent by the conscientious trans*girl before you even meet.

Be a gentleman and dazzle us that you are a man in two worlds: One is sensitive and the other, in charge. When the bill comes, smile and say, “I’ll take care of it.”

And if she’s running up the tab just to get a free ride off of you: Exit through the kitchen and dump her. No one is worth becoming a grouchy old penny-pincher over!

*I am no authority on the matter of passing, as my proclivities naturally lean towards standing out in a wrong way.

Hello,

I have had to take on jobs and assignments to help keep this website alive. The annual fee is approaching, and I just realized I haven’t kept my donation page actively linked. I have noticed that it takes even more effort to keep d332.com running into it’s 8th year, now that I’m busy working.

If you have benefitted from any information or thoughts on this page; If something I have posted, said, remarked, or written about has changed the way you saw something in your life, please do consider making a donation to keep this site up and running. I would rather take it down than resort my space to adult sites throwing their junk all over my altruistic goals.

I have always told the story of an overheard conversation by a donation box at a small art gallery. The man says to his girl, “This place doesn’t need my donation, other people are donating, why should I?”

A year later, a Starbucks Coffee shop opened in the gallery’s place.

More on the Donation Page

I love being with a man, and I still hope to find one that I can call mine someday. That man could be bi or gay, or one helluva open-minded straight guy! But I love whatever is original-factory-equipped on my body and have absolutely no problems with having fully working parts. I’d like to get implants someday after I settle down with someone. But I love being with a man and putting on a dress supercharges that feeling even more so. The act of behaving girly and being a man’s steady girl, looking after each other in every way (not just a sexual thing), is a peachy idea that I’ve done some time ago, but it still gets me dreaming. Since I only do what girls do behind closed doors as well, everything fits neatly into place.

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