Archive for the 'Leisure' Category

Happy First Day of Autumn (update: September 22, 2008)

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

Thus begins the first day of my favorite season of the year. Bring on all the plaid and woolen mufflers and v neck sweaters. It’s nice and chill again, and I can once again cover up in modesty instead of letting a litany of violations against good taste assault the public’s senses!

Also, today is the opening of the new season of Yo Gabba Gabba, and for those of you who are not inducted, let me just say that if there is one current celebrity who reflects my personal fashion philosophy in life, it is FOOFA from Yo Gabba Gabba.

Remember kids, Amy Sedaris of Strangers With Candy fame is making a guest appearance this season too. Woo-hoo!

“Oh No You Didn’t” mp3 from XBOX Mercenaries 2 TV Commercial (update: Sep 5, 2008)

Friday, September 5th, 2008

Here is the full length version of the very hilarious song from the TV Commercial for the new XBOX game Mercenaries 2: World In Flames. The song is called “Oh No You Didn’t” And it is written and performed by Chris Tilton and the Trashmen.

Any time you have a lily white collegiate chorus singing a glee containing ultra-violent gangsta lyrics, it’s instant entertainment.

As for video games, the last thing I played was Atari 2600: Superman. Yes, that one. The one where the world’s superhero looks like three lego blocks slapped together flying from one monochromatic screen to another searching for the magic key (Isn’t that life in one microcosm?).

We connoisseurs of the Atari 2600 system know that a big bag of magic mushrooms is the indispensable accessory to the complete gaming experience.

I’ll have ten pounds of neeps, tatties, and nips with that! (update: August 31, 2008)

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

I could never understand a eating contest. I guess it’s just because stuffing hotdogs or turkey in between your jaws have trouble opening (see Kobayashi) seems like insanity. But that’s before I realize that it’s the choice of cuisine that was turning me off.

Now, a dish like Haggis!!! Well, that changes the story, totally. I first had my fill of this sheep’s liver and heart cooked in an inverted sheep’s stomach while in Glasgow, Inverness, and Edinburgh. Alright, I had some while staying in the Inner Hebrides too. Although Austin Powers’s Fat Bastard liberally quotes the Haggis, beloved Scottish poet Robert Burns does too as well. That’s something. Because correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t remember hearing Auden do a sonnet for Mickey-D’s.

Click here for BBC article on Haggis eating contest


The following recipe for Haggis was found at Chuck Taggart’s Haggis Page.

Combine the Haggis with the eating contest and what do you get?

* 1 sheep’s lung (illegal in the U.S.; may be omitted if not available)
* 1 sheep’s stomach
* 1 sheep heart
* 1 sheep liver
* 1/2 lb fresh suet (kidney leaf fat is preferred)
* 3/4 cup oatmeal (the ground type, NOT the Quaker Oats type!)
* 3 onions, finely chopped
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
* 1/2 teaspoon cayenne
* 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
* 3/4 cup stock

Wash lungs and stomach well, rub with salt and rinse. Remove membranes and excess fat. Soak in cold salted water for several hours. Turn stomach inside out for stuffing.

Cover heart and liver with cold water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Chop heart and coarsely grate liver. Toast oatmeal in a skillet on top of the stove, stirring frequently, until golden. Combine all ingredients and mix well. Loosely pack mixture into stomach, about two-thirds full. Remember, oatmeal expands in cooking.

Press any air out of stomach and truss securely. Put into boiling water to cover. Simmer for 3 hours, uncovered, adding more water as needed to maintain water level. Prick stomach several times with a sharp needle when it begins to swell; this keeps the bag from bursting. Place on a hot platter, removing trussing strings. Serve with a spoon. Ceremoniously served with “neeps, tatties and nips” — mashed turnips, mashed potatoes, nips of whiskey.

Why the name “Pristine?” (update: August 28, 2009)

Thursday, August 28th, 2008

I always see this look whenever people hear my first name.

It’s that “AS IF!” look.

It’s a misconception. I’m here to say it. The name is actually inspired by a song from a childhood hero:

Pete Townshend All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes

The song is The Sea Refuses No River and the first line is

I remember (love) being richer than a king,
the minutes of the day were golden
.

And then later on:

The sea refuses no river,
We’re polluted now but in our hearts still clean
.

Somewhere between these two lines - which I have felt a deep reverence for all these years - my favorite English word “lucent” morphed into a feminized-sounding equivalent and “Pristine” was born.

The Measure of A Man is Not What He Does With Power, but How Long and Thick his American Car is (update: August 18, 2008)

Monday, August 18th, 2008

I reject the notion that Americans have long been socialized to view their automobiles as an extension of their personalities. Regardless of what has been repeatedly confirmed about the statistical correlation of HumVee owners with the subscription of Extenze Pills, if the American Male were to create a car in all the qualities he desperately covets: primarily, girth, length, and color, then we’d have a long thick black cylindrical car that just doesn’t stop.

Come on! That’s just silly! It could never happen.

Buckminster Fuller Exhibit at the Whitney Museum New York NY June 26 2008 Septmeber 21, 2008

GO Elena Dementieva! (Updated: August 15, 2008)

Friday, August 15th, 2008

Elene Dementieva

My favorite shot of Russian tennis champ Elena Dementieva

My fav. tennis player Elena Dementieva beats Serena Williams in this week’s Beijing Olympics 2008. Dementieva takes the silver to Li Na’s (which incidentally, inverted to Westernized name scheme Na Li may translate as As If!) gold for beating Venus Williams!

I’ll be honest, my dementia for Dementieva is rooted in the fact that I think people with an overendowed overbite and/or upper incisors and canines are tremendously attractive. Remember Tea Leoni’s exposed upper incisors? Nice!

Okay okay, so I always root for Russians too, but contrary to what people may expect, I’m always delighted when beautiful people succeed on merit and ability. Anna Kournikova, who seemed to have made her way onto the court by appearances alone, was just so spectacularly bad at tennis, many of us wondered whether tennis would permanently turn into a dedicated spectator sport.

Dementieva, who hero-worships Martina Hingis (another possessor of maximus upper incisus) surely felt she scored for the hometeam in the well-publicized war of words between Hingis and the Williams Sisters in 1999.

Dementieva also has a bad case of the performance nerves (”stage fright”) which I can totally relate to.

But she’s a winner! Congrats to Russia and Dementieva! Yay!!!

Two more pics from Washington D.C. (update: August 14, 2008)

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008

Below is a pic of Nealbo and I at the National Portrait Gallery. We were there with his adorable friend Mary…whom I’m not entirely sure wants her grin to be associated with these jolly merrymakers. This is absolutely the worst picture of me ever. But, I thought I’d slap it up here just so you guys have proof that I do go out all over wearing stuff I wear in my gallery photos.

And I do it with a big smile!

But guys… NOW you finally know why I seldom smile in my pictures! Admit it! You want to tap out! I’ll happily revert to the meanie look that’s been the trademark of d332.com! Even though realtime friends know I am mostly laughing, rolling my eyeballs, or both when I’m away from the computer!

We went to the Annapolis Naval Academy the next day, but the summer sun was so hot, taking pictures was the very last thing on my mind!

Me and One of my Three Best Friends Ever! (update: August 13, 2008)

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

At the Zola Bar at Washington D.C. with one of my three best friends. Neal whom I have known since 4th grade!!!!!!!! Is it physically possible? YES! Is it grammatically possible? Well, NO!

at Washington DC Zola Bar

The Cultural Ark Is Flooding (update: August 12, 2008)

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

Mama Mia Across the Universe Beatles Abba

deja vu: Mamma Mia and Across the Universe

I was recently asked why I opposed the spate of movies and Broadway plays that retrofitted new images and storylines to old pop hits. Phyllida Lloyd’s Mamma Mia to the music of Abba, and Julie Tamor’s “Across the Universe” to the music of the Beatles.

The most apparent reason is the aural experience of listening to music. Similar to reading, listening to music forces the participant to bridge abstract representation with mental images. Th act of mental bridge-building is a creative act in itself. Music videos were criticized for deciding what images to go with a piece of music from which we would have needed, otherwise, to form our personal vista. When developed to its logical extreme, image association turned into simulacra, and beautiful people were utilized to sell music.

George Michael’s “Freedom! 90″ video, enlisting Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista and Christy Turlington marked the height of the era: It combined beautiful people (who had nothing to do with the song) with a recycled song.

Where could we go from there?

The Retrofitted Music Movie was the next plateau.

Images superimposed on music frees us from the task of creating images alongside the abstraction of lyrics and sound. It makes us lazy, supplying us with prefabricated imagery when we should be constructing our own. I guess that’s why you often hear people dismiss a movie with “the book was better.”

The second reason I oppose Retrofitted Music Movies is this: musicians and songwriters publish their works under one publisher. After a long career, the publisher owns the catalog of their songs. Companies and buyers bid on purchasing and reselling the publishing rights to the entire catalog en-block. Once in possession of this catalog, they subtract a huge chunk of royalties that need to be paid out to the musicians and songwriters whenever the songs in the catalog are redistributed. If you look at the retrofitted music movies, you’ll realize that the birth of the concept probably had little to do with someone wanting to create a new work*. If anything, it looks suspiciously as if it had been motivated by a pure business decision to cut cost and maximize gain. How did I arrive at this conclusion? Well, I had a hunch, being in the music and music publishing business for five years.

Today I finally checked the credentials to see if it supported my theory. Here was what I came up with:

Mamma Mia is created by NBC/Universal Studios. If you Google the Abba Catalog, you will see that NBC and Universal also owns the entire catalog to all their works.

Across the Universe is distributed by Sony. According to Wikipedia, “Revolution was a strategic partner of Sony Pictures Entertainment, which distributed and marketed Revolution’s films. The company shut down in October 2007, coinciding with the end of the five year deal with Sony Pictures.” The company is called Revolution Pictures, and Revolution was one of the Beatles’ biggest songs. Someone must have planned the creation of this subsidiary company for the sole purpose of manufacturing Across the Universe, which was made in 2007. Upon it’s completion, the task was achieved, the company was no longer needed.

So why does all this bother me, you ask?

I realize it’s the entertainment world’s age-old strategy to cash in on the familiar. Up-and-coming bands and even nowadays with surgery, movie stars, need to look or sound like a proven commodity if they want to have a higher chance of signing a contract. Pushed to it’s logical conclusion, movies utilized soundtrack that have been proven hits, to reduce the investment risk factor by, if not more than half: even if the movie was horrible, at least audience members still walk away misty-eyed with the sentimentality of hearing their favorite hits when they were in their youthful prime.

In a larger picture, however, recycling and retrofitting old music is actually detrimental to pushing the continuum of the art form ahead. I will always remember the notorious quote bold explorer Miles Davis made about conservationist Wynton Marsalis, who championed preserving “traditional” jazz heritage by continuous reiteration versus forging ahead into new territory. It was something to the effect that if jazz musicians did what Marsalis wanted, “we’d all be back in the fields picking cotton.”

For every remake of an old hit, a new original artist/songwriter is deprived of exposure to the public. We stagnate in nostalgia to put money in the pockets of entertainment execs, but years from now, when people asks us about our fond memories (many of which are indelibly interwoven with music) of the great millennium, we can only say “it was…uh…kinda like the 70s?”

*I have to be fair here. Bach wrote parts of his greatest cantatas as variations on old hymns. A bust of George Washington is really nothing more than a reiteration of Caesar’s profile. The continuum of the arts have trudged forward with an ebb-and-flow progress, reiterating between the retelling of well-worn stories and entirely new creations.

Cooking on the Fly (update: July 31, 2009)

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

I’m always on the lookout to try new ideas (ie. Alexandra Wentworth’s WASP Cookbook and 25 Chicken Recipes From A Retired Voodoo Master…the latter is less frightening, truth be told). Perusing over a library shelf of cookbooks, I try to mix it up, piling a cheery Good Housekeeping Step-by-Step Cookbook with Sara Moulton’s Sara’s Secrets for weeknight meals, the indispensible White Trash Cooking I & II, and if I really wanted to spoil the masochist Stepford Wife side in me, there’s always Jacques Pepin’s Complete Techniques.

A charming surprise I came across was Barbara C. Jones’s Cooking with 5 Ingredients and Gourmet Cooking with 5 Ingredients: both were are an absolute delight, if in nothing but brevity alone. Now for myself, I’m all for spending long hours in the kitchen barefoot making stuff artichokes and escargot-filled mushrooms with truffles under bay leaves with a touch of bechamel, but for those nights when all working couples (ugh! unthinkable!) return home exhausted with the kids whining for repeated viewings of TransAmerica, a quick homecook meal is still infinitely healthier than any thing fastfood chains can introduce into your body.

So give it a shot. There’s even a quickie chapter on beverages. Make a Pink Fizz (pink sparkling wine with lemonade concentrate and beverage) to go with your cucumber dip, before a Pasta with Basil dinner and sweet potato wedges on the side

D332 Stepford tip: Substitute tofu, soy, and vegetables for all things unhealthy….except the bourbon.

D332 extra cooking tip: Look in old magazines for recipe ideas. I recommend 1955-1957 editions of Ladies Home Journal.