Sukeban (Amisa) lifts her schoolgirl skirt and shows her assailants her secret weapon in Sukeban Boy
Ever wondered how crazy a Japanese manga comic would look like if it were translated into film? Noboru Iguchi’s 2006 film Sukeban Boy comes close to satisfying one’s imagination: Shemales, homosexuality, lesbianism, incest, crossdressing, gore, martial arts, bondage, Cosplay, schoolgirl outfits, slapstick humor, romance, flatulence jokes, and the super-cute Emiru Momosa. I want to say the only thing it doesn’t have is Seinfeld’s slap bass riffs. No wait. It has that too.
Because the plot is THAT good, I am going to provide a full blown spoiler here, confident that you will still get every ounce of entertainment from it even after knowing the story. For those of you who are not familiar with the genre, it might seem strange. For those of you who are, you’ll shrug and think it’s a walk in the park.
Sukeban (female actress Amisa playing a boy) is having problems at school. With a girl’s face and figure, he is constantly harassed by his classmates and local gang members. One day, as he is taking a bath, his rockabilly dad hops into the tub with him. “I have an idea: you change schools and go as a girl.” Before they agree, his father says “you’re so girly I’m attracted to you, despite that thing you have between your legs.” Sukeban then starts school as a girl the next day, showing up in the classic manga sailor school uniform that we’ve all come to associate as a gateway to savory thoughts. But now there’s a new problem: he runs into the girl gangs, who throws knives that can instantly render fellow schoolgirls topless. Sukeban makes friends with Mochiko (Momosa), who introduces her to The Humility Club, an afterschool group that practices the art of Japanese modesty. Of course “modesty” here entails stripping in front of fellow classmates. What is Sukeban to do now?!
Emiru Momosa as Mochiko, simply adorable and darling
Luckily, another girl gang The Half Naked Women, reveal themselves, and a fight ensues, but not before Mochiko is forced to humiliate herself. Tremendously impressed that Sukeban has defended her honor, Mochiko gets a crush on Sukeban. Unfortunately, the leader of the girl gang, Kanko also gets a crush on the girl who beat her in the duel. She decides to woo Sukeban away, leaving Mochiko to mope. Later that evening, Kanko gets a note to meet Sukeban in school. Instead, she comes face to face with The Naked Witch, The Full Frontal Woman.
The next day, Sukeban’s crazy dad and his gang all show up wearing schoogirl sailor uniforms in what we are suppose to believe is an undercover move to catch the Naked Witch. Instead, they come face to face with The Braless Women gang, headed by the sister of the now legless Kanko (she got them dismembered by the Naked Witch). The Braless Women shoot bullets from their mouth. One of the guys Tetsuro, who looks remarkably like a dead ringer of the Dalai Lama, gets one in the buttocks. Now I’m not saying you have “thoughts” about seeing the Dalai Lama in a schoolgirl outfit with pink panties on all fours. But if you do….well here’s your chance to realize that dream.
Who knew reincarnation could be this painful? Tetsuro looking eerily like a famous religious leader. Now you know why the Chinese hate him. They’re jelis of his legs!
Mochiko then reveals herself to be a ping pong champion, fending off bullets with an iron paddle. As Dad’s crossdressing gang attempts to get away, they run headfirst into the Monk Girls, who’s primary mode of engagement is clothespin (on chains) to bare men nipples. As hairy men in schoolgirl outfits whine to their nipples being yanked, Sukeban runs off with dad, but he’s no better off, as dad suddenly gets the idea to smother his son with his bare nipples. Mochiko shows up to save the day, but only to inject Sukeban with a large does of estrogen, confessing that she knew he was a boy all along. Being a lesbian, she can only embark on a relationship with our hero if he became a she. It becomes obvious that Mochiko is also the Naked Witch. An epic fight follows, machines guns come out of breasts vs feeble gatling guns from leg stumps. At this point, the film budget must have run out because the sequence is shot at a level as if it the camera were operated by a midget. All we see are naked torsos, buttocks and bosoms clashing. The two protagonists are unable to off each other. They kiss and make up.
Cut to the future. Now not only has Sukeban’s estrogen worn off, mysteriously leaving the breasts intact, but his male organ has been reinstated to twice it’s size, but Mochiko has also grown a large one of her own.
The movie ends with the two cute Japanese girls with monster penises (covered), happily in love, surrounded by the entire male cast dancing in fundoshi (Japanese men’s white wrapped undies). All in 60 minutes. Everyone goes home happy. Who could ask for more?
Now somebody send a copy off to Pat Robertson.
