For all the guys (and girls) that have ever declared they were buying a copy of playboy or penthouse to read the editorials, there is now, “Jennifer’s Body.” Let’s be honest, to watch this movie and criticize its plot development or cinematography is like kicking and screaming about a Kryzstof Kieslowski trilogy for lacking in Transporter-style car chases. You’re not being honest with yourself.
If you have seen this movie, rented it, or bought it, you’re only here for one and only one thing: Jennifer’s Body. For guys, it’s obvious. For girls, it’s to check out the competition and how hard we now have to work to live up to the current gold standard. (Megan Fox is presently voted the World’s Sexiest Woman, unless you live in Kenya or Java)
Fox delivers, definitely demonstrating that she deserves the throne more than her predecessor Angelina Jolie. Although….Amanda Seyfried (of “Dear John”) puts in a hysterical display attempting to look like an unattractive geek (she is not). Johnny Simmons fills in the duties of the trendy, omniscient Seth Rogan Syndrome, providing hope to all lifelong single nerds that they can, indeed, land a hottie like Seyfried (they won’t). Amy Sedaris, IMHO, steals the show as Seyfried’s mom. Sedaris, as the notorious Jerry, of Comedy Central’s biggest outcast, Jerry Blank of Strangers with Candy, here becomes the concerned parent. It makes sense, because Sedaris, like Seyfried, barely succeeds in hiding their good looks.
The acting is horrible, the goth is of the Hot Topic variety, the soundtrack music covers is laughable, and the fear factor is about as suspenseful as the next Macy’s sale (every 23 hours). On the aforementioned departments, the movie gets a 1. But as I have said before: NONE of us are here for anything other than to ogle and gauge Fox’s hottie index and Jennifer’s Body: how we covet, lust after, or have to live up to or be compared with the most prized geometry of present day. Here, Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried scores a 5.
How we rate each film is based on what we are looking for. So the median here would be a 3.
